The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest.

The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest.
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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of individuals arrested in 5 years until 1994,
while
the bar chart displays the most recent causes
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
arrest. On the one hand, 32% of
males
got arrested in 1994 whilst 68% of
males
did not get arrested.
On the other hand
, 9% of
females
were arrested in 1994
while
91% of
females
were not arrested.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public drinking was the leading reason which is recorded as 31% of
males
and 37% of
females
. The second major reason for
males
was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drink
Replace the word
drunk
show examples
driving
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
reached 26% of
males
, showing 14% of
females
as well.
Nevertheless
, cases of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
theft were 16% of
males
and 12% of
females
which shows
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
similar trend as the breach of
order
Add an article
the order
an order
show examples
. The bar chart for the assault showed 16% of
males
and 19% which exhibits a higher percentage of
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
rather than
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
.
Lastly
, less
10
Change preposition
than 10
show examples
% of each group didn't reveal their reasons.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • percentage
  • arrests
  • bar chart
  • trends
  • age group
  • contrast
  • significance
  • factors
  • societal implications
  • crime
  • economic
  • social factors
  • legal factors
  • preventive measures
  • interventions
  • data analysis
  • demographics
  • reasons for arrest
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