Some people think that secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss btoh views and give your own opinion.

#people #school #students #study #news #subjects #waste #time #btoh

Students

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

have various fields to study

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

such

as Mathematics and Sciences. People argue whether secondary

school

students

need to have International News as one of their

subjects

. In my opinion, I wonder

that

Correct word choice

show examples

students

will gain more information about their Earth when having

this

subject

in their schedule.

This

essay will shed

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

light on different

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

show examples

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

regarding

this

subject

. The first group supports the idea of having International News as a

subject

in secondary

school

. When taking

this

, the

student

will be aware of all vital issues occurring globally. The child may be a volunteer in solving the problem.

Moreover

, he or she may have a crucial role in making the world a better place to live in.

In addition

, it will provide the

student

with useful and new information and details about multiple countries around the world, which may expose him or her to explore more about other cultures.

However

, the other group of people believe that it is a form of valuable

school

time

wasting

Verb problem

apply

show examples

. The

student

may spend

this

time knowing about his or her home

country

Change noun form

country's

show examples

issues and problems in economics, industry and environment.

Besides

, learning advanced

subjects

that will have benefits on the

student

's level is

much

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

essential.

Although

knowing global

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

is important,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

focusing on

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

subjects

would be more important.

Furthermore

, some of the children may be unexcited or uninterested

to attend

Change preposition

in attending

show examples

such

type of classes, which may affect his or her total grading

score

Fix the agreement mistake

scores

show examples

in the final report.

For example

, it could be an elective

subject

to whom is interested.

To sum up

variety

Correct article usage

a variety

show examples

of opinions are there

according to

adding a

subject

called International News to secondary

school

students

' timetables or not. Some people support the first idea to increase knowledge.

While

others support the

second,

as there are other

subjects

to focus on. As there are many

point

Change to a plural noun

points

show examples

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

here, I see that having

this

subject

is a winning race.

Submitted by ghala_alshatti_16 on Thu Aug 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

You have addressed both views and provided your own opinion, which is good. However, your essay would benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Try to include relevant data, statistics, or real-life examples to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important. However, there are some minor errors in grammar and phrasing that can affect the clarity of your points. Make sure to proofread your work and consider revising awkward sentences to improve readability.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is logically structured, some of your supporting points need clearer connections. Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to your central argument and that transitions between ideas are smooth. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and your conclusion nicely summarizes your points and restates your opinion.

task achievement

You have done well to present both sides of the argument and to offer your own opinion. This balanced approach is essential for a high-scoring essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

328 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?
The majority of individuals talk that so much attention and many foods,drinks are given in the defend of livestocks and many birds. This essay about wildlife and their protection. And addition to, we keep animals of extend species.
6
band
The diagrams below shew the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.
The pictures demonstrate the different stages of life that silkworms go through from birth to adulthood and the processes of making silk cloth from their cocoons. Overall, there are four steps for them to become fully grown-ups and five steps for the cloth to be produced.
4.5
band
Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, education is a most important key to archive in many business and life. Certain humans mindset about the youngers should be need to have complete thier study until they are at least 18 years old. In my opinion, I partially agree because people should complete their education but not only that supports in their entier life. In this eassy, i will discuss the acceptance and disacceptance of education.
5
band
Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Few humans are in the favour of expending their lives performing the exact activities and ignore to do different activities. However, the others think that change in life aways comes with benefical improvements. In my perspective, a person will get bored with doing the same activity and can be stuck in his life by avoiding change. Everyone should know that how changes brings positive impact and happiness in our lives.
<4
band
In today’s job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
In today's globalised world some consider that work experience is more crucial, others believe person should to know theoretical knowledge. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of this argument and I will include my point of view.

Some people think that secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss btoh views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

The diagrams below shew the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today’s job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications. To what extend do you agree or disagree?