Some people think that secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss btoh views and give your own opinion.

#people #school #students #study #news #subjects #waste #time #btoh

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Students

Use synonyms

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

have various fields to study

about

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apply

show examples

such

Linking Words

as Mathematics and Sciences. People argue whether secondary

school

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students

Use synonyms

need to have International News as one of their

subjects

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. In my opinion, I wonder

that

Correct word choice

show examples

students

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will gain more information about their Earth when having

this

Linking Words

subject

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in their schedule.

This

Linking Words

essay will shed

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

light on different

point

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points

show examples

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

regarding

this

Linking Words

subject

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. The first group supports the idea of having International News as a

subject

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in secondary

school

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. When taking

this

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, the

student

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will be aware of all vital issues occurring globally. The child may be a volunteer in solving the problem.

Moreover

Linking Words

, he or she may have a crucial role in making the world a better place to live in.

In addition

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, it will provide the

student

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with useful and new information and details about multiple countries around the world, which may expose him or her to explore more about other cultures.

However

Linking Words

, the other group of people believe that it is a form of valuable

school

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time

wasting

Verb problem

apply

show examples

. The

student

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may spend

this

Linking Words

time knowing about his or her home

country

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country's

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issues and problems in economics, industry and environment.

Besides

Linking Words

, learning advanced

subjects

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that will have benefits on the

student

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's level is

much

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apply

show examples

essential.

Although

Linking Words

knowing global

issue

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issues

show examples

is important,

but

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apply

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focusing on

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

subjects

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would be more important.

Furthermore

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, some of the children may be unexcited or uninterested

to attend

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in attending

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such

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type of classes, which may affect his or her total grading

score

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scores

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in the final report.

For example

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, it could be an elective

subject

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to whom is interested.

To sum up

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variety

Correct article usage

a variety

show examples

of opinions are there

according to

Linking Words

adding a

subject

Use synonyms

called International News to secondary

school

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students

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' timetables or not. Some people support the first idea to increase knowledge.

While

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others support the

second,

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as there are other

subjects

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to focus on. As there are many

point

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points

show examples

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

here, I see that having

this

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subject

Use synonyms

is a winning race.

Submitted by ghala_alshatti_16 on Thu Aug 08 2024

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task achievement

You have addressed both views and provided your own opinion, which is good. However, your essay would benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Try to include relevant data, statistics, or real-life examples to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important. However, there are some minor errors in grammar and phrasing that can affect the clarity of your points. Make sure to proofread your work and consider revising awkward sentences to improve readability.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is logically structured, some of your supporting points need clearer connections. Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates to your central argument and that transitions between ideas are smooth. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and your conclusion nicely summarizes your points and restates your opinion.

task achievement

You have done well to present both sides of the argument and to offer your own opinion. This balanced approach is essential for a high-scoring essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Some people think that secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss btoh views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

«Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation» To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the best way to control accidents on city streets is to lower the speed limit but others think there are more important issues that need attention before roads can be safe. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People spend too much money on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings. What is the importance of these celebrations? Do you think people really spend too much?