Some people suggest that bringing up children by thw whole family includimg uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. To what extend are you agree or disagree?

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The upbringing of
children
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is a crucial aspect of shaping their personality. Some believe that
parents
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should not be the primary caregivers, but I firmly align with the view that
parents
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should play the central
role
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. Parental experts widely agree that strong parental involvement in a
child
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's life leads to enhanced parental authority and improved decision-making capabilities. By taking a central
role
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,
parents
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are able to establish clear boundaries, rules, and expectations for their
children
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.
This
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, in turn, encourages the
child
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to be more responsible, as they understand they will be held accountable for their actions.
Additionally
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,
this
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hands-on parental approach helps foster a high level of consistency for the
child
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, even in challenging situations. When
children
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are raised in environments with actively engaged
parents
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, they develop greater adaptability and flexibility in navigating their lives.
For instance
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, when a
child
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knows they must answer for their behaviours, they are more inclined to thoughtfully consider the potential consequences before acting. Firm in my belief, I hold that when
parents
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take an active
role
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in raising their
children
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, they cultivate deep, meaningful connections.
This
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, in turn, fosters an environment where kids feel comfortable opening up about their problems without fear of criticism or dismissal.
Furthermore
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,
this
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active involvement helps safeguard the
children
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's privacy, free from outside interference.
As a result
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,
parents
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gain greater freedom and control in guiding their
children
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's lives.
While
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some may advocate seeking guidance from external sources and their accumulated wisdom when planning a
child
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's upbringing, I firmly disagree with
this
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approach. In my view,
this
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can lead to
children
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becoming increasingly confused, as the lessons they learn from their
parents
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may clash with the advice imparted by others.
For instance
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, grandparents may at times prefer to act with leniency, even when their own
children
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do not adhere to established norms.
However
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, when
this
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child
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then
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rejoins the family, they may neglect to properly heed the authority and
role
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of their own
parents
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. In conclusion, when
parents
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take a central, proactive
role
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in raising their
children
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, it offers a uniquely valuable opportunity. By establishing clear boundaries, fostering deep connections, and maintaining consistency,
parents
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can guide their
children
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towards greater responsibility, adaptability, and personal growth.
Submitted by homa.nazrmian56 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly states whether you agree or disagree with the given statement. While your view is evident, a more explicit statement in the introduction could strengthen your essay.
logical structure
Although the essay is well-structured, including topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph could enhance clarity.
relevant specific examples
Expand on specific examples that underline your viewpoint to provide more concrete evidence supporting your arguments.
complete response
The essay demonstrates a clear and comprehensive understanding of the topic, and the arguments are logically organized.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay includes relevant and clear ideas that support the central argument, making it compelling.
logical structure
There is a coherent flow of information, making the essay easy to follow and understand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extended family
  • child-rearing
  • diverse experiences
  • harmonious family environment
  • sense of belonging
  • emotional support
  • wisdom and guidance
  • multicultural societies
  • heritage and traditions
  • conflicts and confusion
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