IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

Although
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 people have
the
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enhanced educational opportunities, a lot of old community members are still not literate in the modern era.
Consequently
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, many adults experience a number of drawbacks of not having skills
such
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 as reading and writing,
nevertheless
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, I believe that states can easily assist seniors by creating some helping groups and so on. First of all, it is true that the present time is a time of information and technology, and everyone has to protect themselves and know how to use new gadgets and be literate.
Thus
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, aged persons would
get
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have
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 some difficulties
due to
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 the paucity of required abilities.
For example
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, the internet plays a crucial role these days as
a
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apply
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plenty of individuals use it in their daily lives,
however
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the
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apply
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reading, writing, speaking and listening skills are essential in order to utilize the web.
In addition
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, senior people are
also
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 a part of
this
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 society. So if they want to communicate through social apps, they especially need to be able to both write and read messages, and it demands respectively some knowledge about literacy.
Nonetheless
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, I think governments could solve
this
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 issue without any
problem
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problems
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.
Firstly
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, they can organize a collective consisting of a group of teenagers or students inclined to lend a helping hand to the elderly. By doing
this
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, the golden ages would have the opportunity to learn
required
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the required
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 qualities and
student
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students
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 would do a kind of
a
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apply
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volunteering job.
Secondly
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, the advanced
smart phones
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smartphones
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 with built-in facilities that could give assistance in order to convert a text into a voice and so on. It
is
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also
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 could affect greatly and aged humans will comprehend demanded resources.
Finally
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, to increase
a
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the
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 chance to
enchance
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enhance
 the adults' capabilities,
ministry
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the ministry
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 certainly may start a collection
for
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of
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 paid courses for people who are unable to show a basic education. In conclusion, even if some elderly individuals have no
any
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apply
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idea how to read letters or text them,
i
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I
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 believe that administrations could easily find a solution
of
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to
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this
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 statement.

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task achievement
Ensure all ideas are fully developed and supported with relevant specific examples. Currently, some ideas are mentioned but not elaborated upon.
coherence cohesion
Introduce clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to improve the logical flow and coherence. Some transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of language inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. While they do not significantly detract from the overall message, improving them would enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task, discussing both the disadvantages faced by illiterate adults and potential governmental solutions.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are provided, framing the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow between the main ideas in each paragraph, which helps maintain reader engagement.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Illiteracy
  • Underemployment
  • Social isolation
  • Healthcare decisions
  • Autonomy
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Marginalized areas
  • Economic instability
  • Employment opportunities
  • Governmental plans
  • Dependency
  • Community involvement
  • Financial incentives
  • Flexible schedules
  • Mobile applications
  • Workplace literacy programs
  • Literacy education
  • Access to information
  • Social interactions
What to do next:
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