It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behavior in addition to providing formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that
besides
the academic field teachers
are responsible for the children
's uprising. While
it is completely parents
' responsibility to foster kids' manners, teachers
also
play an important role in their life
.
There are several reasons why school stuff should not interfere Fix the agreement mistake
lives
in
the way Change preposition
with
children
behave. Firstly
, i
think it is Change the capitalization
I
parents'
responsibility to teach them every law that they must follow and educate Correct article usage
the parents'
by
showing them human values, and nobody can influence them as much as their Correct pronoun usage
them by
parents
. Secondly
, they should only focus on academic
field and not get distracted by any other subject, because student's educational growth must keep going on in spite Add an article
the academic
everything
. Change preposition
of everything
Finally
, this
kind of problem could have been done by educating stuff
in the kindergarten, so people have to send their Correct your spelling
staff
children
there and enhance their children
's demeanor
.
Change the spelling
demeanour
On the other hand
, I believe that teachers
play a pivotal role in students' behavior
. School is the foundation for Change the spelling
behaviour
student's
future personality and is the people's second home, Correct article usage
a student's
and
so they foster their creativity and create their Correct word choice
apply
behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
teachers
should be nice to them and reconcile them whenever they have a conflict or a fight going on. Thus
, teachers
can create a peaceful perception of the world and behave in a good way.
In conclusion, i
completely agree that Change the capitalization
I
teachers
should contribute in
student's behavior Change preposition
to
in addition
to parents
' efforts.Submitted by talgattan4ez on
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task response
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating your stance on the issue and giving a brief overview of the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This can help the reader understand your position from the beginning.
task response
Work on providing more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and give the reader a clearer understanding of the scenarios you are describing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that this idea is adequately developed throughout the paragraph. This can help improve the overall coherence and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Use more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay and make it easier to follow.
task response
Be mindful of minor grammar and punctuation issues such as capitalizing the pronoun 'I' and maintaining consistent verb tenses. While these are minor errors, addressing them can improve clarity and professionalism.
task response
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue. This is a strong point in terms of task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and give a sense of completeness to the essay. This helps in giving a sense of a well-rounded discussion.
task response
Your essay clearly presents your views, demonstrating a personal stance on the issue. This is important for a persuasive essay and shows your engagement with the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.