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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by local authorities in Someland in 1980, 1990 and 2000.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts below illustrate the proportion of money invested in various categories (Higher
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, Transportation, Environmental
services
Capitalize word
Services

The word services should be capitalized in this context.

show examples
, K-12
Education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, Health and human resources, Other) by the government of Someland in 1980, 1990, and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the highest percentage in each year is for the budget allocated to higher
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest

There may be an adjective issue here.

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 percentage in the year 1980 is for environmental services, in 1990 and 2000 the smallest share is for the "Other" category.
It is clear that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 received most of the spending in each of these three years: 35% in 1980, 45% in 1990, and 40% in 2000. Following that, the K-12
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 sector took 25% of the budget in 1980, which decreased to 20% in 1990 and to 18% in 2000. In the transportation field, 16%, 6%, and 22% of the total money
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was

It seems that the verb were does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 used in the years 1980, 1990, and 2000 respectively. When it comes to the health and human resources category, the allocation was 14% in 1980, rose to 20% in 1990, but
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 declined to 10% in 2000. The environmental services sector had considerably small shares compared to other categories, with figures of 4%, 5%, and 9% respectively.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the "Other" sector saw a gradual decrease throughout the years, starting at 6% in 1980, dropping to 4% in 1990, and reaching 1% in 2000.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words education with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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