Study shows that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?
Recently, researchers have shown that poor
education
is a common factor for many criminals
. Hence
, some people think that the key to reducing crime rates is to provide educational curricula for prisoners
. Thereby, they have job opportunities when they finish their sentences. Personally, I agree, and I will explain my perspective.
Firstly
, many criminals
come from low-income backgrounds, and in order to survive, poor people may break the law to provide a living. For so long, we have said that education
is the cure for poverty. Therefore
, educating criminals
results in getting a job once they leave, so the financial issues won't be a burden anymore. For example
, in Norway, the government helps the
Correct article usage
apply
prisoners
get educated, formal education
in prison includes primary and secondary school, work-qualifying courses, vocational training, and tertiary studies. To encourage ex-convicts not to commit illegal acts.
Furthermore
, prisoners
can receive moral teaching. In some countries, criminals
get to learn about religions, which teach them about principles, rights, and wrongs. Thereby, not only do they learn for the sake of a career, but they also
develop their personal ethics. For instance
, in Saudi Arabia, they teach prisoners
about Islam and moral values, and if a prisoner memorises the holy Quran by heart and is of good conduct and behaviour, his sentence reduces
. That encourages them to be better individuals even after prison. Wrong verb form
is reduced
Additionally
, learning enhances self-esteem. Education
motivates critical thinking and problem solving
. Add a hyphen
problem-solving
Therefore
, when prisoners
successfully tackle complex problems, they become more self-assured of
their capacity to overcome challenges. Change preposition
in
This
contributes to a sense of accomplishment and boosts their self-esteem.
To sum up
, it's valuable to provide criminals
with ethical and technical education
to ensure that they can find a job once they leave, be better citizens, and fit into the
society.Correct article usage
apply
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general
Try to further elaborate on the moral teaching aspect by providing more examples or insights on how it contributes to reducing crime beyond just moral values.
coherence cohesion
Ensure transitions between paragraphs are smooth. For instance, adding more transitional phrases to link the ideas between financial benefits and moral teaching would enhance the flow.
task response
Expand slightly on the broader societal benefits of educating prisoners to provide a more comprehensive understanding of its impact on the community at large.
introduction conclusion present
Introduction and conclusion are clearly stated, providing a good framework for the essay.
supported main points
Strong use of specific examples, such as the practices in Norway and Saudi Arabia, to support the main points.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay addresses multiple dimensions of the issue (financial, moral) which shows a clear and comprehensive understanding of the topic.