Some people believe that criminals should be put into prison as long as possible. However, others believe that it is necessary to educate those people in local community. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
One part of
society
thinks that criminals should be imprisoned for a longer tenure because they threaten to the societies, whilst, others consider that opportunity should be given to them to improve their social conductUse synonyms
,
so that they should be educated Remove the comma
apply
while
living with other people in Linking Words
society
. I believe that they should be imprisoned for their better future but for a short span of time.
With regard to the long-term Use synonyms
prison
sentence, it is the argument of many individuals that offenders have criminal intentions, so their presence with local communities is not a wise decision. Use synonyms
In other words
, if by law, it is enforced to give them education about the correct moral behaviour so that a deep understanding of moral conduct can be developed in themselves, resulting in, Linking Words
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
can become
a responsible citizen is a meaningless hope, but would create a threat to the crowd. Wrong verb form
becoming
Furthermore
, Linking Words
the
long-term Correct article usage
apply
prison
sentences would be difficult to serve, so it will deter criminals from doing even minor offences as they would be aware that their criminal actions would lead them to long-term Use synonyms
prison
Use synonyms
sentence
.
Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
On the other hand
, some are of the view that keeping criminals apart from Linking Words
public
makes it difficult for them to reintegrate with Add an article
the public
society
because the aim of imprisonment is to rehabilitate them by retraining them to get some useful skills and developing an ethical code of conduct that how to survive in the Use synonyms
society
as a useful citizen. But, if offenders keep away from the local people, Use synonyms
then
it is more difficult for them to create a strong bond with the people who are living in the Linking Words
society
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, long-term imprisonment would lead to isolation, and in some cases, depression could be the outcome and they might not recover from it throughout their lifetime, eventually, their whole life could be ruined. Linking Words
Additionally
, practical knowledge is always considered the best measure to learn anything, so to teach them about social ethics can only be achieved successfully, if they survive Linking Words
along with
other persons in Linking Words
society
.
In conclusion, both arguments have their own reasons, but I think that rather than make their life worse by putting them in Use synonyms
prison
for a long time, laws should be made to give them appropriate time Use synonyms
prison
Use synonyms
sentence
so that they Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
should
be educated there, and become a responsible person after they being released ensuring that they can now survive with other members of the community.Verb problem
can
Submitted by kanwalkaur05 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures and avoid repetitive phrasing to make your essay more engaging.
task achievement
Using specific examples or case studies can strengthen your arguments and make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to improve the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
Elaborate more on your main points to provide a deeper analysis and show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the debate, which shows a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You demonstrate an understanding of the topic by discussing both the need for imprisonment and the potential benefits of community-based education programs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.