IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The picture displays the data about the future design of a new village.

#picture #displays #data #future #design #village
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The picture displays the data about the future design of a new village.
Overall
, living accommodations will mostly be added to surround the whole town,
while
 there are going to be manufactured sums of various facilities.
By contrast
, there will be only 2 industrial buildings.
To begin
 with, from the west to the south, there will be 2 roads, being manufactured via the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the town.
Therefore
, the first line will be surrounded by houses, especially
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the south side, which might have their recreational area, close to the road.
However
, there may be fewer houses constructed in the second line,
by contrast
,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 other facilities will be built, facilitating the addition of mankind’s needs
such
 as bus stands, parking areas and
also
 first-rate recreational locations, which might be adjacent
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Ring roads.
Additionally
, from the north to the southwest of the map,
thus
 there might be
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 living accommodations in the first loop compared to the previous sides, 2 huge industrial businesses will be manufactured, alternating each other.
Next,
the number of houses may be similar to the right margin.
However
, the amount of other facilities
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 going to be reduced.
Submitted by document.hanie on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Add a conclusion to clearly wrap up the main points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that ideas are fully developed and logically sequenced.
task achievement
Include specific examples or details that elaborate on the main points.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on the descriptions of the village design to improve comprehensiveness.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states the topic of the essay.
task achievement
The essay makes an effort to describe different aspects of the village design.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally well-organized.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: