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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The bar chart depicts the proportions of divorced
partner
Fix the agreement mistake
partners
show examples
 over a 4-
year
Use synonyms
 period, observed across two European nations between 2011 and 2015.
Over all
Correct your spelling
Overall
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,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 was leading the percentage of divorced partners for 3 years,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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Finland
Use synonyms
 was surpassing
Sweden
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the stages.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart in the first period,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 had a higher rate of divorced residents at 42%, than that
of
Change preposition
apply
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Finland
Use synonyms
 at 38%. In the upcoming
year
Use synonyms
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 rose marginally by 5% to 49%,
in contrast
Linking Words
 with
Finland
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 experienced
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
2
Change preposition
of 2
show examples
% from the previous
year
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there were changes over the next 3 years.
Sweden
Use synonyms
 started to decline gradually close to 48%, 45% and 38% respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in the next 2
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
,
Finland
Use synonyms
 faced different changes, where it grew
consitently
Correct your spelling
consistently
constantly
 by around 2% to about 39% and 41% in 2013 and 2014,
then
Linking Words
 remained steadily
likewise
Linking Words
 the previous
year
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and
Finland
Use synonyms
 witnessed gradual changes in 4 years, where
Finland
Use synonyms
 had a trend of steady
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
 and marked the highest rates of divorce societies
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 41% , followed by
Sweden
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 lowest proportion
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
38%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the phases.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sweden, finland, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • divorce rates
  • fluctuate
  • increase
  • decrease
  • peak
  • trough
  • trend
  • notable
  • significant
  • substantial
  • higher
  • lower
  • comparison
  • consistent
  • vary
  • percent
  • overall
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