IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include •Where you stayed •What the problems were •How they can fix your complaints

#hotel #conference #company #room #management #•where #•what #•how #complaints
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to complain about the
room
 in your
room
 because there were a lot of
problems
 in the
room
 . I came to
this
 town from my city with my company for
conference
Add an article
the conference
a conference
show examples
.
Then
 we stayed in your hotel for a week.
The
Change preposition
On the
show examples
 second day, we found a lot of
problems
 . We wanted to change our
room
. We spoke to the hotel management. The first problem is that
TV
Correct article usage
the TV
show examples
 is not working in our column. We liked watching TV . The second problem is that the bed
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 two sealers . It is a pity we were six people. Four people slept on the settee. We needed to supplement the bed or change the
room
. We waited half a day. The hotel representatives came to our
room
 .
Then
 they asked us, " Which
problems
 are there in your
room
?" . We spoke to representatives about our
room
problems
. We changed our
room
.
This
room
 is more comfortable than the old
room
. I wanted
this
 situation not to be with the other people . Yours faithfully Azizbek
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
You have clearly stated the issues you experienced and the response from the hotel staff, which adequately addresses the task. However, try to detail the problems with a bit more clarity and specificity.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate different ideas such as introducing your stay, listing the problems, and explaining the solutions you expect. This will make your letter more organized and easier to follow.
suitable writing tone
Ensure your tone remains formal and polite throughout the letter, avoiding repetition of phrases (e.g., 'a lot of problems'). Using varied, precise vocabulary will enhance the tone.
greeting and closing
Your letter includes a polite greeting and closing, maintaining a respectful tone.
task achievement
The main issues with the hotel room are identified clearly and concisely.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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