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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar charts below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use.

The bar charts below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use.
#bar #visits #community #website #first #second #year
The following bar chart represents the number of
visits
 to a community website between two different
length
Change to a plural noun
lengths
show examples
: the first and second
year
 of use, over a one-
year
 period, starting from
september
Change the capitalization
September
show examples
 and ending with
august
Capitalize word
August
show examples
 of an unidentified
year
.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that the locals with
two-years
Correct your spelling
two years
show examples
 experience of an official site visit
more
Add a missing verb
were more
show examples
 frequent,
whereas
 that of those recent users was fewer throughout the given time frame.
However
, it is interesting to note that the figures in both
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 reached
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
preak
Correct your spelling
peak
 around June to August. Starting with
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
older users, at about 23,000
times
, was the highest number of
visits
 in June and July, followed by May at about 20,000
times
, and November and December at the same rate at 18,000
times
, respectively. It is noticeable that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
September, at approximately 250
times
, was the fewest
visits
Fix the agreement mistake
visit
show examples
 for a second-
year
 group which
double
Add a missing verb
was double
show examples
 that of those first
year
.
Therefore
, at 15,000
times
, aigist accounted for the maximum
visits
 of
first
Add a hyphen
first-year
show examples
year
 users,
while
 in
february
Change the capitalization
February
show examples
 had the fewest figure with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 minimum of about less than 100
times
. In summary, the older
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 of use, the greater the number of
visits
 monthly in a
year
 except August
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the new visitors
overtaking
Wrong verb form
overtake
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 older counterparts.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visits, year, times with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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