Some people believe that too much attention and too many sources are given to the protection of wild animals and wild birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #attention #sources #protection #animals #birds

this

day and age, it is thought that too much attention and too many sources are provided

Change preposition

for

show examples

the protection of wild

animals

and wild birds. I partly agree with

this

statement, and the reasons for my viewpoint will be mentioned in

this

essay. On the one hand, there are many compelling reasons why Individuals should not

given

Add a missing verb

be given

show examples

many

resources

for protecting wild

animals

and birds.

To begin

with,

this

will need many materials

such

as money and a workforce in order to contribute to the wild

animals

As a result

, lacking funds for the communities, which are needed to aid.

In addition

, providing many

resources

leads to a sharp increase in creatures’s population, which is likely to negatively impact people’s lives.

Furthermore

, a sharp increase in the number of wild

animals

also

will contribute to the lack of natural

resources

such

as water, which is a necessary item for citizens.

On the other hand

, I firmly hold the viewpoint that people should provide more

resources

for wild

animals

Firstly

, ensuring the number of

animals

will help with education.

This

leads to the young generation having a chance to discover more and more different

animals

and broaden their mind.

Moreover

This

also

will contribute to some of the scientists having many materials to study and build a new medicine which will surely support citizens’s health.

To sum up

, I restate that I partial agreement with

this

statement for all the above-mentioned reasons.

Submitted by hoangtrungmta94 on Fri Aug 09 2024

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task achievement

The essay partially addresses the prompt with both sides discussed, but the arguments need further development and more specific examples. Consider adding concrete instances to strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

While the essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, the transitions between ideas can be smoother. Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences contain minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Revise for grammar, punctuation, and word choice to create a more polished essay. For instance, avoid repetition and ensure subject-verb agreement.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states your stance and sets the context for the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

243 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that too much attention and too many sources are given to the protection of wild animals and wild birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The funds for postgraduate research are limited; therefore some people think that the government should provide financial support. In their opinion, only scientific research should be funded, rather than other less useful subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today food travel thousand of mile from farmers to consumers. Why is it so? It is a positive or negative development?

It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family relationships and communication to what extent do you agree or disagree.

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country., while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and giye your opinion.