Learning to play team sports is an important part o f a child’s education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some people believe that playing games in a
team
is very important for children because it helps them to increase their overall
knowledge whether it is subjective or social. I totally agree with this
statement and further
in this
essay, I will explain with views with some examples from the Journal and personal experience.
To begin
with , there is no doubt that participating in group sports plays an essential role in a child
's life. In school teachers should teach students
about the benefits of playing in group activities
. For Example
, an M.B.A student from Delhi University revealed that students
who are actively involved in team
games are more energetic and also
secured very good grades in class as compared to other students
.
Secondly
, Students
should learn to play team
activities
as it is very good for their development . It is very beneficial for their mental and physical health. For example
, sometimes child
won't succeed in individual activities
and then
they think about failure in life because of this
reason it affects their mental health as well such
as anxiety and depression. Perhaps, but it never happens in team
activities
because nobody can blame here individual for failure , Moreover
, playing in a team
improves child
communication and confidence which is important for future growth.
To conclude
, I believe that playing team
sports is necessary for each child
as it will not only be good for physical health but also
enhance their personality such
as communication skills , go-getter attitude and confidence. Parents and Teachers should encourage young children to participate more in team
games.Submitted by preetiaug25 on
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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear stance and provides relevant examples, there are a few points where more detail or clarity could improve the discussion. For example, providing more specific information about how team sports foster social and subjective knowledge would add depth to your argument. Additionally, tying the benefits more explicitly back to education would strengthen the task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally flows well, but some sentences could be connected more smoothly. Transitional phrases would help to link ideas better and enhance coherence. For instance, instead of starting a sentence with 'Secondly,' you might say 'In addition to the academic benefits,...'. This makes the progression of ideas clearer.
coherence cohesion
Clear statements and well-structured paragraphs contribute to a coherent response. However, be cautious of minor errors and inconsistencies. For instance, 'M.B.A student from Delhi University' should be 'An M.B.A student from Delhi University'. Also, eliminate unnecessary commas after 'For example' and 'For instance'. These small corrections can enhance the readability and professionalism of the essay.
task achievement
Your essay clearly takes a position on the topic and consistently supports it with relevant examples, which shows strong task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame your arguments, which is excellent for coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured paragraphs and clear main points contribute significantly to a logically organized essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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