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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the information about salt intake in the US in 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

The chart shows the information about salt intake in the US in 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words
#information #salt #intake #summarise #features #comparisons
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The graph illustrates the consumption of
salt
Use synonyms
 in the United States in 2000. As can be seen, the
salt
Use synonyms
intake
Use synonyms
 from
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 were higher rather than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
ages
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
, males who were under 6
ages
Use synonyms
 stood at 2000
milligrams
Use synonyms
, those were
according to
Linking Words
 recommended child
salt
Use synonyms
intake
Use synonyms
. Following that, man people who were
adult
Change the noun form
adults
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as 6-11
ages
Use synonyms
, 12-19
ages
Use synonyms
, and 20-39
ages
Use synonyms
 consume
salt
Use synonyms
 at 4000
milligrams
Use synonyms
, 4500
milligrams
Use synonyms
, and 4000
milligrams
Use synonyms
, respectively. Meanwhile, the elderly
man
Correct your spelling
aged
show examples
 people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
40-60
ages
Use synonyms
 at just around 4000
milligrams
Use synonyms
 and 3500
milligrams
Use synonyms
 saw a
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 by
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 who were over 60
ages
Use synonyms
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
under 6
ages
Use synonyms
 and over 60
ages
Use synonyms
 just
salt
Use synonyms
intake
Use synonyms
 at under recommended adult
salt
Use synonyms
intake
Use synonyms
,
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 approximately 1000
milligrams
Use synonyms
 and 2500
milligrams
Use synonyms
, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 who have
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
6-11, 12-19, 20-39, and 40-60
ages
Use synonyms
 in above
recommendation
Replace the word
the recommended
show examples
 adult
salt
Use synonyms
intake
Use synonyms
, with the same level
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 3000
milligrams
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by writingbersama on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words salt, intake, ages, milligrams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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