Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Due to
Correct article usage
the increase
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
rate
of inflation and population , which promoting
the Change the form of the verb
promotes
crime
rate
.There is a debate between
netizens that Change preposition
among
government
needs to decrease the unemployment Correct article usage
the government
rate
and giving
Wrong verb form
give
the
free education or loan facilities for students Correct article usage
apply
while
others arguing
that Wrong verb form
argue
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
needs
to learn some Correct subject-verb agreement
need
self defence
techniques to tackle the crisis.Add a hyphen
self-defence
This
essay will discuss why its
Correct your spelling
it is
neccessary
for Correct your spelling
necessary
government
to reduce the Correct article usage
the government
crime
rate
.
Firstly
and foremost reason, why Replace the word
The first
government
needs to put
the hard steps to tackle Verb problem
apply
the
criminals Correct article usage
apply
because
Add a missing verb
is because
government
is the only authority who have Add an article
the government
legally
right to make strict laws against Change the word
legal
criminal
. Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
For instance
, In Saudi Arabia, there is a penalty and punishment for doing a minor and major crime
. Thats
why Correct your spelling
That
there
Replace the word
their
crime
rate
is less
than other countries.Correct word choice
lower
Thus
, Due to
this
, before doing any offence they will think twice for
the consequences.Change preposition
about
Furthermore
, government
needs to promote free education and provide more job opportunities, so that more people will show their interest Add an article
the government
to attain
education .It will not only Change preposition
in attaining
helps
to decrease the Correct subject-verb agreement
help
crime
rate
but also
helps
to boost the economy of Correct subject-verb agreement
help
country
as well.
Add an article
the country
a country
On the other hand
, Although
government
provides the assistance to reduce the Add an article
the government
crime
rate
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
the
individuals Correct article usage
apply
also
have a need to take actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
againt
Correct your spelling
against
the
Correct article usage
apply
crime
and find the
solution to reduce the Correct article usage
a
rate
of crime
.
In my opinion, The government
should empower the more
police force with Correct quantifier usage
apply
this
not only help to eradicate the offence but also
it will help to provide the
job opportunities to Correct article usage
apply
public
.
In conclusion, ultimately Add an article
the public
government
must made
Change the verb form
make
be made
the
strict rules to tackle Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
crime
instead
of individual
.Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
Submitted by harjass308 on
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grammar
Work on grammar and spelling to improve clarity of expression. For example, 'neccessary' should be 'necessary' and 'pretocet' should be 'protect.'
content
Expand on how individuals learning self-defense can have a substantial impact on crime prevention to strengthen the argument for the other viewpoint.
content detail
Offer more detailed examples and statistical evidence to strengthen your arguments, such as comparative crime rates in countries with differing levels of government intervention.
structure
Improve paragraph structure for better readability and coherence. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details that are logically connected.
content
The essay clearly presents both sides of the argument, which helps in understanding the issue from multiple perspectives.
cohesion
Good use of transition words like 'Firstly,' 'Furthermore,' 'On the other hand,' which help guide the reader through the essay.
conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the author's viewpoint, reinforcing the argument made in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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