IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#countries #students #study #science #effects #society
As per the observation in many countries
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, students are not willing to learn about
science
 as a subject in their academic programs. In my opinion, young people need to know about the
science
 behind the
environment
 to prevent
from
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apply
show examples
the
cause
for
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in
show examples
 the future.
Firstly
, without having the knowledge of what happening in our
environment
 may lead to global warming
by
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apply
show examples
through plastic paper or
carrybags
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carry
 away, which may affect the soil by having unwanted or non-decay waste. On the other, throwing unwanted plastic cups,
cover
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covers
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 and other wastes in
drinage
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drainage
, which blocks the water flow or leakage under
pipeline
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the pipeline
show examples
 and affects our living place.
For example
, if people
throws
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throw
show examples
a non-degradable products
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non-degradable products
a non-degradable product
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such
 as plastic water
bottle
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bottles
show examples
,
Carrybags
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carry bags
, etc in the forest
while
 going for
uphill
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an uphill
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 trek or camping site these will decompose into the soil and
cause
 trees/plants to
dead
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die
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.
For
this
 reason,
Peopple
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people
 should be aware of
science
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the science
show examples
 which
cause
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causes
show examples
 environmental
issue
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issues
show examples
like
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apply
show examples
, by
saperating
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separating
 the waste before disposing
instead
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it instead
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 of dumping
all
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it all
show examples
 together.
Likewise
, visiters and local people should take
a
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apply
show examples
necessary
precaution
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precautions
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
not to drop any waste/
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 non-degradable
product
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products
show examples
in
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on
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 the beach during their vacation anywhere around.
For instance
, every city corporation cleaning
commity
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community
 has
initated
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initiated
 to keep the place clean and neat, for
this
 have placed a
saperate
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separate
 bin for both Degradable and Bio-Degradable
product
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products
show examples
 before trashing into
single
Add an article
a single
show examples
 bin. In conclusion,students should know/learn
abou
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about
the
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apply
show examples
science
 by choosing in the academic groups.
As a result
, we will come to
now
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know
show examples
 the
cause
 that will happen to the society and
environment
 by creating global warming.
Which
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This
show examples
 will
leads
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lead
show examples
 to
clean
Add an article
a clean
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environment
 and
clean
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a clean
show examples
 city where
our
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the
show examples
 next generation can able to
breath
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breathe
show examples
 good outside sir.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task response
The introduction needs to be clearer and better framed. It should provide a concise overview of the issues to be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical connections between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your writing more fluent.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy. This includes correcting verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points, and ensure each example is clearly connected to the main idea.
coherence cohesion
Include transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your argument and make your writing more cohesive.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both the causes and effects of the issue, which is a good approach.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant to the topic and show an awareness of the environmental issues related to the lack of interest in science among students.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math)
  • Perception of difficulty
  • Early exposure
  • Engaging experiences
  • Career opportunities
  • Practical applications
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural norms
  • Critical fields
  • Innovation
  • Economic development
  • Global competitiveness
  • Public health
  • Environmental issues
  • Scientific progress
  • Educational standards
  • Biodiversity loss
  • Healthcare services
  • Medical research
  • Job prospects
  • Research and technology
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