Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages.
Today, the development of economics has improved living standards
,
and brought products, new technology and better living conditions. Remove the comma
apply
While
, during the process of this
, the lack of social values also
becomes a consideration. For this
phenomenon, I believe the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.
On the one hand, there are several benefits to this
event. Firstly
, it refers to an increase in the quality of life or well-being of individuals or communities, because the improvement of the economy
can increase the individual's salaries, enhance the accommodation conditions, healthcare and education can be more common to the public. Secondly
, the advancement of technology leads to higher efficiency and productivity in people’s lives, for example
, the spread of the internet allows the collection of information and resources to be easier for employers. Finally
, the enrichment of the economy
will lead increase in employment, and enhance the activity of society. It can boost the independence of individuals.
On the other hand
, the disadvantages of a growth economy
. Admittedly, as the development of the economy
, individualism and materialism often become dominant, the family bonds and communities are ignored. Therefore
, this
may lead people to only focus on their personal profit and ignore teamwork and some responsibilities. In addition
, the overdevelopment of resources will cause environmental pollution, and using short-term profit to sacrifice the long-term balance of ecology can lead to big stress on the earth. Simultaneously, the inequality between the poor and the rich will become more serious. As a result
, it will reduce the connection between the social.
In conclusion, although
economic expansion is very essential to the world, a negative impact on social stability and overall
well-being in the long run. Therefore
, I believe that the drawbacks of this
event outweigh the benefits.Submitted by 57025371 on
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task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task, however, some points need further elaboration or specific examples to fully support the argument. For instance, mentioning specific advancements in healthcare or education due to economic development could strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical flow, some paragraphs can be structured more coherently. For example, the paragraph expressing the disadvantages could be more organized by grouping similar points together and providing clearer transitions.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing clear topic sentences and ensuring each paragraph maintains a central idea. This will improve the essay's overall readability and coherence.
structure
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part has a distinct purpose and helps in delivering the overall message.
task achievement
The writer successfully introduces both the advantages and disadvantages of economic development. There is a clear stance taken, which helps in making the argument strong.
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