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Band 3.5

100 years ago, it was felt that the human race was making progress in all areas of life. Nowadays, there is less certainty that this is the case. In what areas do you think that the most progress has been made so far? In what area are more things needed to be done?

#years #race #progress #areas #life #certainty #case #area
The contemporary debate on the inclusion of
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 race was making
progress
 in all areas of life is a nuanced topic, I find the areas of
transportation
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been done with the most
progress
.
However
 , there are more things
needed
Wrong verb form
that need
show examples
 to be done in the
areas
Fix the agreement mistake
area
show examples
 of making
rules
. Humanity has made the most
progress
 in
transportation
.In today's society,
transportation
 has been improved to save time and make travel more efficient.
For example
，100 years ago, people used horse-drawn carts to transport food, but with the
progress
 of the times, more and more things needed to be transported, and horse-drawn carriages could no longer meet people's needs, so trucks were developed.
However
,more effort is needed to develop
rules
.In modern society, many
rules
 are not perfect and there is no way to serve the public more comprehensively.
For instance
 ,In China, the
rules
 for motor vehicles have not been perfected, and the
rules
 do not clearly state which roads are allowed and which are not. In summary, the area of
transportation
 has been perfected,as it can address citizen's need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
transportation
.
However
 ,the area of making
rules
 has not yet been perfected.
Submitted by 15050205988 on

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, main body, and conclusion. To make it even better, ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next.
task response
You made valid points but expanding on your examples and providing more specific details would strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay's main points.
task response
You provided relevant examples to support your main ideas, which is excellent for illustrating your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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