You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. • Say why he/she would not enjoy going to college • Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her • Suggest types of job that would be for him/her

Dear friend, I hope
this
letter finds you in the best of health and spirits. I am currently working at
restaurant
Add an article
a restaurant
the restaurant
show examples
as a waiter and I thought it would be a great opportunity to share my experiences with you. As a good friend of yours, I believe that nowadays gaining experience is more valuable
then
Correct your spelling
than
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, getting
degree
Add an article
a degree
the degree
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.
Therefore
, I can say you should
work
with me and
also
you can earn a lot of money for yourself
,
Remove the comma
apply
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Because
last
year my plenty of friends
have chosen
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
college and right now they all of them working with me. That’s
way
Correct your spelling
why
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I recommend
work
with me.
Firstly
, I would like to provide you with some information that might be helpful during your career.
Secondly
, if you are good at communication with all of the
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
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, you can get plenty of money
then
Correct your spelling
than
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others,
that is
Verb problem
which
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benefits your life.
Finally
, after
work
two
Change preposition
for two
show examples
or three years, you might run your own business.
Furthermore
, if you do not desire to
this
Add a missing verb
do this
show examples
work
, you can make
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
business.
For instance
: sell some kind of fruit, meal, balloons and abbreviation. Because you are young yet and
therefore
this
works suitable for you. I hope you will be able to make it. Best regards, Ozod
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Make sure to address each of the bullet points in the prompt more directly and explicitly. For example, explain clearly why you think your friend would not enjoy college.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow by organizing your points more clearly. You could follow a structure like: introduction, why not college, benefits of working, possible jobs, and a conclusion.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are appropriate and friendly, which adds a personal touch to the letter.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph contains a single main idea, making it easier for the reader to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Real-world experience
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • On-the-job training
  • Student loan debt
  • Personal growth
  • Professional networking
  • Career development
  • Skilled workers
  • Job market
  • Career goals
  • Immediate income
  • Professional relationships
  • Market demand
  • Defining interests
  • Educational investments
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