Some people believe that zoos where animals are kept in man-made environment should no longer exist in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?
These days a large number of animal species are being kept in
zoos
of different countries. Hence
, it is argued that animals
belong to their natural habitat, rather than size-limited spaces created by humans. I truly agree with this
statement, and this
essay will explain why.
First and foremost, even though zoos
help children learn about animals
and their lifestyles, it is still not ethical to keep animals
away from their natural habitat. This
simply means that keeping animals
in cages is not worth entertainment and educational experiences, as they suffer in this
closed environment. Take Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk Zoo, for example
, where bears can hardly survive, as they face hunger and boredom.
Additionally
, artificial environments cannot imitate real nature with a variety of spaces where animals
can live and develop. Keeping animals
in captivity does not allow them to participate in essential natural activities, such
as migration and hunting. Hence
, it is necessary to replace zoos
with an environment that embraces freedom. For instance
, Australia has a variety of natural sanctuaries and wildlife reserves which provide both independence and security to animal species.
In conclusion, even though there are a few benefits to keeping animals
in zoos
, the drawbacks of this
activity outweigh the advantages. Removal of these places, and replacing them with bigger natural spaces which include lakes, rivers, forests
will not detrimentally affect Correct word choice
and forests
animals
, but instead
support their lifestyles and habitats. Add a comma
instead,
Propose
alternative methods of experiencing wildlife, Wrong verb form
Proposing
such
as wildlife sanctuaries and virtual reality experiences will offer a greater experience and knowledge for young people and adults.Submitted by innakireeva0101 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Transition words are helpful but ensure that the progression of the essay feels natural to the reader.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and relevant to the topic. However, even more depth and development of these ideas could provide an even more comprehensive response. Aim for this level of detail in future essays.
task achievement
Providing specific examples is crucial in solidifying your argument. The essay contains relevant examples, but including more varied and detailed examples may bolster your arguments further.
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