Some people think new homes need to be built with private outdoor space such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?

Psychologists stated that having a green
space
in the
place
you live in will prove your mental health in a recognized way. Nature always gives the
place
a harmonious sense. People argue whether to include gardens, balconies, or yards in their new homes. In my opinion, greens and blooming
flowers
raise the positive vibes in the
place
making it a comfortable and outstanding
place
to be in.
This
essay will shed light on a variety of points of view regarding
this
. Having a garden at home will provide children with a safe
place
to play because parents will have an eye on them all the time.
For example
, they might include a football net or a tennis basket. Adding a wooden swing would
also
be entertaining and at the same time give the
place
a charming picture.
Furthermore
, having a balcony would be a relaxing
place
to read your favourite book with a mug of chamomile tea.
Moreover
, a yard would be an amazing
space
added to the house.
For example
, if a pet is found, it can have the
space
to play around without being lost.
However
,
this
could have many disadvantages. The owner will be compelled to take intensive care of the plants and
flowers
out there.
This
could cost a lot too.
For example
, an olive tree costs 3000 dollars today.
In addition
,
flowers
and planting supplements nowadays are highly expensive.
Moreover
, the planter should be aware of the
flowers
' different seasons. Actually, some seeds are preferably growing in summer
while
others are in spring. Surprisingly, some seeds should be planted only in the winter season.
To sum up
, people have multiple points of view about having a
place
that hugs nature in their new homes. The goods are it may gift the children a
space
to enjoy playing and it would be a calming corner for adults. The negatives may be that it may need deep care and cost a lot. I think that there is no better than being surrounded by
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
gorgeous blooms.
Submitted by ghala_alshatti_16 on

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coherence
There is a need for better clarity and coherence between paragraphs. Although the ideas are present, the transitions are not always smooth, and the essay would benefit from more cohesive devices to improve the flow of the essay.
task achievement
While the essay does introduce and conclude the topic well, there are moments where the main points would benefit from more thorough development and explanation. Try to elaborate more on each point and provide more clear, direct examples.
introduction
The introduction is effective in presenting the topic and stance, as well as providing a preview of the essay.
conclusion
The conclusion successfully summarizes the main points and restates the opinion clearly and effectively.
examples
The use of personal experiences, like the example of children playing in gardens or reading on the balcony, adds a personal touch and relevance to the arguments.

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