IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend.In your letter • say why he/she would not enjoy going to college • explain why getting job is a good idea for him/her • suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

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Dear Soliha, I am writing to give advice to Soliha. Soliha wrote to me and asked for advice: should I choose to study in
college
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 or should I get a job? I advise you to
work
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 based on my opinion. Because when you study in
college
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, you repeat what you learned before. You can get a job without going to
college
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, I believe you. After that, you will waste a lot of time studying in
college
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.
Also
Linking Words
, you have tried many experiments to make it happen.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I advise you to
work
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.
Then
Linking Words
 you have been attending courses related to your field, and if you attend and
work
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 on these courses, your experience will increase significantly. With a little guidance from your manager, everything will be great. It is better if you allocate 2 hours after
work
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 for additional lessons. If you
studied
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
 chemistry and biology, you can
work
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 as a doctor. But
first
Add a comma
first,
show examples
 learn all the principles of nursing and
then
Linking Words
work
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 in your direction. Yours sincerely, Qobiljonova Kamola

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific reasons why college might not be enjoyable, such as the environment, theoretical focus, or mismatch with your friend's learning style.
task achievement
Explain more clearly why getting a job can be particularly beneficial, such as gaining practical experience or financial independence.
coherence cohesion
The letter would benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs. Try to use linking words or phrases to improve the flow.
coherence cohesion
Try to keep each paragraph focused on a single idea to provide a clearer structure. For example, one paragraph for why college might not be enjoyable, one for why a job is a good idea, and one for job suggestions.
coherence cohesion
Good greeting and closing statements. They set a friendly tone appropriate for writing to a friend.
task achievement
The writing tone is suitable and friendly, which is appropriate for the letter's purpose to a friend.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Real-world experience
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • On-the-job training
  • Student loan debt
  • Personal growth
  • Professional networking
  • Career development
  • Skilled workers
  • Job market
  • Career goals
  • Immediate income
  • Professional relationships
  • Market demand
  • Defining interests
  • Educational investments
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