Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child’s success in school. Do you agree with this statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
It is widely argued that peers have more strong control than
parents
over the success of the children
. In my view, I strongly disagree with this
statement, since parental contribution is far more important than friendship owing to instill
moral Change the spelling
instil
values
among children
by parents
as well as
continuous guidance.
Commencing with the most salient reason why I consider parent influence more than colleagues. This
is because children
can learn ethical values
under the the
shadow of Remove the redundancy
apply
parents
. Skills such
as honesty, reverence, sympathy, punctuality and management of money are prerequisite
for survival which can only be learnt Fix the agreement mistake
prerequisites
while
being in the company of parents
, whereas
these values
cannot be practice
with peers company, who do not have enough knowledge about Wrong verb form
practised
such
values
. Thus
, the more juveniles stay closer to their guardians, the more they equip
with skills which are crucial for their academic achievement.
Wrong verb form
are equipped
On the other hand
, another worth considering reason is to assist them with enough guidance throughout their life regardless of time constraint
. Fix the agreement mistake
constraints
Since
Correct word choice
Parents
parents
not only correct their children
at every walk of life by monitoring them but also
give them ongoing support both financially and emotionally, resulting in strengthening their path of
success. Change preposition
to
For instance
, parents
often assist their juveniles in decision making
regarding the selection of academic streams and career goals by using their past experience which clearly Add a hyphen
decision-making
help
them to opt for the right domains, and resultantly, they reach the zenith of success. Change the verb form
helps
Hence
, parental influence is undeniable in children
’s holistic development.
To conclude
, even though classmates
action makes a big impact Change noun form
classmates'
classmate's
in
Change preposition
on
children
’s lives, I think children
would remain bereft of moral values
and support unless they are residing
with their Wrong verb form
resided
parents
.Submitted by abdulahad08600 on
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task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the topic and provides a clear response. However, try to ensure that your ideas are more comprehensively expressed. For example, delve deeper into how parents instill moral values and provide continuous guidance.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity and coherence, avoid repetition. For instance, the repeated use of "juveniles" can be replaced with synonyms. Additionally, ensure consistent use of vocabulary and phrases. Avoiding wordiness will enhance readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.
task achievement
You provided specific reasons to support your viewpoint, which makes your argument more compelling.
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