IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In today's world, learning a foreign
language
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 is an integral part of our daily lives for various reasons.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that the main reasons are requirements for
traveling
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travelling
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 or working in different nations, others say that these are not the only causes. I firmly believe that learning a foreign
language
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 has a crucial impact on our self-development,
such
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 as exposure to new ideas and cultural understanding for a wider perspective.
To begin
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 with, one of the primary benefits is that it certainly encourages personal development through exposure to new ideas. Numerous local books, newspapers, and historical heritage sources lead to learning various idioms and adages.
Therefore
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, wider perspectives contribute to personal growth in terms of creativity.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 can build strong relationships with others who possess diverse backgrounds.
In particular
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, extensive knowledge about cultures and histories boosts detailed conversations and helps
people
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 become more aware of unexpressed feelings.
On the other hand
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, the benefits of foreign
languages
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 for careers and
travel
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 are undeniable. Learning a different
language
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 expands job opportunities in a globalized job market and enhances employability.
For instance
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, employees can find jobs in larger countries even if they live in underdeveloped regions.
In addition
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, companies can offer higher salaries
due to
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 advanced
language
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 skills.
Besides
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, knowing different
languages
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 enriches
travel
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 experiences by enabling interaction with locals and a better understanding of places.
For example
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, there are significant deficiencies in English education in South America, and most
people
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 prefer to speak Portuguese or Spanish.
As a result
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, tourists may face difficulties in
this
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 region if they are not able to speak these
languages
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. In conclusion, learning a foreign
language
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 is essential not only for practical purposes like
travel
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 and career advancement but
also
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 for personal growth and cultural awareness. It allows individuals to explore new ideas and perspectives, enhancing creativity and fostering meaningful relationships with
people
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 from diverse backgrounds.
While
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 the benefits
for
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of
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 employment and
travel
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 are important, the deeper value lies in the ability to connect with others and appreciate global diversity. Ultimately, embracing foreign
languages
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 enriches our lives and broadens our understanding of the world.

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task achievement
The essay demonstrates clear and comprehensive ideas. However, providing a few more precise examples or statistical data could have strengthened the argument further.
coherence cohesion
You presented a logical structure with a strong introduction and conclusion. All main points are well supported and cohesively linked, ensuring a smooth flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, encapsulating the main argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Great use of language and varied sentence structures contribute to the cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
The argument is well-developed, showcasing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • multilingual
  • linguistic proficiency
  • globalized world
  • cross-cultural communication
  • immersive experience
  • adaptability
  • cultural exchange
  • interpersonal skills
  • employment prospects
  • empathy
  • intellectual development
  • overcome language barriers
  • global market
  • resourceful
  • life-changing
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