IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

International tourism creates tension rather than understanding among people from different cultures. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some
people
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 claim that rather than strengthening the understanding among
people
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 from different cultural backgrounds, international
tourism
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 creates tension.
Overall
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, I tend to disagree with
this
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 view. Admittedly, international
tourism
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 can cause bias and prejudice among
people
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 from different
countries
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 and
cultures
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. There are
tourists
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 who are intrinsically self-centred narrow-minded and ultra-conservative. When they travel abroad, they are reluctant to view the different lifestyles, values, standards, and social practices in
foreignlands
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foreign lands
 in
positive
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a positive
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 light. They fail to appreciate all those unique features that the exotic lands hold become bored easily, and tend to regard anything different from their own knowledge or experience as strange or even abnormal.
Such
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 negative impression is worsened by the occasional incidents in which
tourists
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 are conned and overcharged by local taxi drivers, bar staff and street vendors during their holidays abroad.
As a result
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 of all
this
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, some visitors can, after travelling, become biased and prejudiced against the foreign
countries
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 that received them. It is
also
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 true that some
people
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 living in tourist destination
countries
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 may feel that
tourists
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 damage the natural environment which they depend on to make a living.
This
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,
coupled with
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 the fact that some foreign
tourists
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 do occasionally behave in a rude and disrespectful manner during their visit, can cause bias and resentment in local communities against foreigners and foreign
cultures
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. In spite of all
this
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, I still believe that international
tourism
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 creates more understanding among
people
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 from different
cultures
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 than tension. I would like to point out that the above-mentioned types of
tourists
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 only account for a tiny proportion of the millions of
people
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 who travel overseas every year.Most of the time, we hear
people
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 around us talking positively about their holiday experiences abroad, thinking highly of everything they saw, felt and experienced on foreign
soils
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soil
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. Indeed, the vast majority of
tourists
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 genuinely appreciate the fact that during their travels they get the chance to communicate directly with
people
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 from other
cultures
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 and backgrounds and get to understand a nation and culture much better than before.As for local
people
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 in destination
countries
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, I would like to argue that the vast majority of them in reality do warmly welcome
tourists
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, are proud to showcase the beauty of their land and culture to foreign guests, and feel grateful that the influx of
tourists
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 creates employment for local residents and that money gained from
tourism
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 can be used to improve infrastructure and public services in their country. Personally, I think the most important thing about international
tourism
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 is that when
people
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 from different
countries
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 and
cultures
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 meet, they can witness different lifestyles and customs, talk to each other, get to know what other
people
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 believe in and why they do so, and ultimately come to understand the real origins of and underlying causes for international conflicts and disputes.
This
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 is vital for fostering understanding, building trust and eliminating bias and prejudice. My conclusion is that
although
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 international
tourism
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 may occasionally create tension, it definitely promotes understanding between
people
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 from different
cultures
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.

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task achievement
You have addressed the question and provided relevant arguments for both sides of the issue. Remember to use specific examples to bolster your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay shows good logical structure with an introduction and conclusion. Endeavor to create smooth transitions and clearer connections between main points and supporting information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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