Why do many people visit museums when they travel to different countries or cities?

#people #visit #museums #travel #countries #cities

Visting

Correct your spelling

Visiting

show examples

historical places is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

essential part of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

travelling.

Therefore

, many

people

visit museums mostly when they travel to different

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

or even

city

Fix the agreement mistake

cities

show examples

Firstlt

Correct your spelling

First

Visting

Verb problem

Visiting

show examples

museums

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

the

people

an idea and overview of the

history

and values of that country. Let me share

Change the article

show examples

personal example,

Last

year, I

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

vistied

Correct your spelling

visited

paris

Change the capitalization

Paris

show examples

, and I visited the famous museum of Paris known as Mona Lissa.After

visting

Correct your spelling

visiting

such

a great

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

historical place and

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

show examples

many new things

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

also

learn more about

France

Change noun form

France's

show examples

history

Secondly

, It helps me to understand why the

french

Capitalize word

French

show examples

people

Change the verb form

are

show examples

different from all over the world because of their

history

. In conclusion, I must

sat

Correct your spelling

say

show examples

that

people

should visit

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

in order to learn and

undertand

Correct your spelling

understand

the

history

values

Correct word choice

and values

show examples

of the

counrty

Correct your spelling

country

Submitted by shahroz99dev on Sat Aug 10 2024

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Grammar and Spelling

There are several minor spelling mistakes and grammatical errors in the essay. It's important to proofread your work or use tools to catch these mistakes. For example, 'Visting' should be ‘Visiting’, and 'paris' should be 'Paris'. Also, 'The museum is known as Mona Lissa' should be 'the Louvre where the Mona Lisa is housed.'

Examples and Evidence

Your essay would benefit from more detailed and varied examples. While your personal example is useful, adding another example from a different context would demonstrate broader understanding.

Vocabulary and Sentence Structure

The essay could use more complex sentence structures and varied vocabulary to enhance its quality. Currently, the language is a bit repetitive and simple. Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and more complex structures.

Structure

You successfully included both an introduction and a conclusion which helps frame the essay nicely.

Task Achievement

The main points are relevant and addressed the task appropriately, providing logical reasons why people visit museums.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

130 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Why do many people visit museums when they travel to different countries or cities?

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

In many countries, people are now living longer than before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extend do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the cases?Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

University students often focus on one subject. However, some people think that universities should encourage students to learn a range of other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+