IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society
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It is argued that
students
 should pay for their education contracts which that bits of knowledge
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 them huge opportunities for future careers not to society.
This
 essay totally disagrees that after graduation from the university
program
Add a comma
program,
show examples
 they will be professionals in their specialized fields and their novels bring benefits not only for themselves but
also
 to the whole country.
To begin
 with, supporting the young generation especially those who study at local and international universities with a
government
 budget, can be more beneficial for
students
. If the
government
 do not support
students
, they cannot take knowledge from professors, because they give them full focus on earning money which is needed to pay for contracts and it brings negative ramifications.
For example
, in prehistoric times of Uzbekistan the words previous
government
 ( in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1909 year) sent to Germany 23
students
 to study here and after arriving they enacted new laws and ideas which helped society to meliorate economy it was the first time when supported
students
 before that time each student should be pay for education themselves. By doing these actions
government
 able to create a sense of patriotism which is brings to the whole country some administrative and modern changes.
Submitted by abdulaziz on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss. This will provide a clear roadmap for your essay.
logical structure
Work on developing clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and clearly connects to your overall thesis.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and reinforces your overall argument. This will ensure a cohesive and impactful end to your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Proper use of punctuation and sentence construction will enhance the clarity and readability of your essay.
relevant specific examples
Relevant and specific examples, like the historical reference to Uzbekistan, add depth to your essay and support your argument effectively.
complete response
Your essay addresses the task well by providing detailed arguments and examples supporting your stance on the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
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