It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct e g dinosaurs dodos there is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening do you agree or disagree

There are many considerations about whether or not people are responsible for protecting animal categories from extinction. The writer agrees with the former and holds a belief that there are several reasons to protect them. On the one hand, it is not essential to prevent the destruction of
animals
because
that is
the natural process, which ensures the adaptation of different species in various habitats . To illustrate
this
point, it is recorded that Dinosaur, which is the strongest and largest category, are extinct
due to
the pollution of the globe and
also
the fall of meteorites.
Thus
, if the creatures cannot put up with the changes of the world, they will be replaced by the others.
On the other hand
, protecting
animals
is one of the missions that humans need to carry out nowadays.
First,
various kinds of wild
animals
play a pivotal role in maintaining the connection between them. To clarify, each
specie
Fix the agreement mistake
species
show examples
is
indispensable
Correct article usage
an indispensable
show examples
part
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
the others. If one becomes extinct, it might lead to many others in the food chain being negatively affected.
For example
, insects are seen as the meal of amphibians,
while
amphibians are
also
the prey of herbivores and in the end, rabbits or zebras become the hunting of the carnivores.
Therefore
, people should protect them to help maintain a balanced ecosystem. In conclusion,
while
there are some reasons why individuals should not prevent the elimination of
animals
, the writer believes that humans need to be aware of protecting and have responsibility for maintaining them.
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task achievement
Ensure that all your main points are fully developed and supported with clear, relevant examples. Some points in your essay are not thoroughly expanded on, which can weaken the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the logical flow and make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the essay has a good structure, some transitions between points could be clearer to maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which outline your standpoint effectively.
task achievement
The arguments presented are relevant to the topic and display a good understanding of the issues related to species extinction.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • ecosystems
  • environmental ethics
  • habitat destruction
  • anthropogenic impact
  • ecological balance
  • natural selection
  • wildlife preservation
  • genetic diversity
  • endangered species
  • biological heritage
  • sustainable practices
  • Anthropocene
  • cascade effects
  • intrinsic value
  • habitat conservation
  • extinction crisis
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