IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that the goverment is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree?

#people #goverment #money #arts
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The debate on
government
Use synonyms
 over
arts
Use synonyms
 raises
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
show examples
 on whether the
money
Use synonyms
 is utilized properly or not.Over the point of view of the
topic
Add a comma
topic,
show examples
 the answer is not on either side. There are both right
statement
Change to a plural noun
statements
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 in the argument.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Arts
Correct article usage
the Arts
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plays
Change the verb form
play
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 an important role in preserving
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cultural
heritages
Fix the agreement mistake
heritage
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.
Arts
Use synonyms
 like paintings, music
and
Correct word choice
apply
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theatre and many others
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reflicts
Correct your spelling
reflect
nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
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 historical events. The paintings
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the history of past history and modern
arts
Use synonyms
 in the upcoming future and so do
tells
Wrong verb form
tell
show examples
 about the style of paintings in new generations.Classic music, rap and many other
style
Change to a plural noun
styles
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 of music will make
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 suitable place in future which might inspire them.
Way
Correct article usage
The way
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 of acting done in theatre can
may
Remove a modal verb
apply
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help in knowing the way of
Add an article
the act
an act
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act
Wrong verb form
acting
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 in past times.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
Also
Rephrase
apply
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 the
arts
Use synonyms
helps
Change the verb form
help
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 in the way of earning for the interested ones.
Linking Words
thirdly
Capitalize word
Thirdly
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,These
arts
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
acts
Correct subject-verb agreement
act
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 as a source of entertainment for the citizens. There is
also
Linking Words
 a point in some people's view as the
money
Use synonyms
 wasted
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
arts
Use synonyms
 can
further
Linking Words
 help the
government
Use synonyms
 in
development
Add an article
the development
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 of education,health sectors,
infrastructure's
Change noun form
infrastructure
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 like roads and many others. The
arts
Use synonyms
doesnot
Verb problem
do not
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 in revenue but
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 only a
waste
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
.But
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree
Change preposition
with
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 point that
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
waste
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
Change preposition
for
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
 if the
money
Use synonyms
is spend
Change the verb form
is spent
show examples
Change preposition
within
show examples
in
Change preposition
within
show examples
 a
Correct your spelling
certain
sertain
Correct your spelling
certain
 limit
then
Linking Words
 the
arts
Use synonyms
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not a
waste
Use synonyms
 but
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 inspiration for
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 or even others. In conclusion,there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 no
such
Linking Words
 things
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
waste
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 of the
government
Use synonyms
 in anything as the thing that some people
thing
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
 as a
waste
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 might help
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 in many different ways.
Submitted by niteshrayamajhi542 on

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coherence cohesion
Introduce clear paragraphs to make the argument easier to follow. Each paragraph should discuss a single main idea, and this idea should be clearly stated at the beginning of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay. It should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make sure that the argument flows logically from one point to the next.
task achievement
Provide more balanced support for each viewpoint. Each argument should be elaborated with detailed explanations and relevant specific examples.
task achievement
Use more advanced vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the clarity and sophistication of your ideas. Aim for more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to show a higher level of fluency.
task achievement
Check for grammar and punctuation errors to ensure that your writing is clear and free of mistakes. This will improve the overall readability and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
The importance of arts in preserving cultural heritage and providing entertainment is well noted.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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