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Band 7

the graph below shows the averege no of movies seen in a theater per year by age group . summarize the inf by selecting and reporting the main features and make compaisons where relevant .

the graph below shows the averege no of movies seen in a theater per year by age group . summarize the inf by selecting and reporting the main features and make compaisons where relevant .
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AS CAN BE SEEN , The given line chart illustrates the movie figures that various age groups have seen between 4 different years (2000.2005,2010 and 2015).
Overall
Linking Words
, It can be noticed that the number of
movies
Use synonyms
 seen between 2000 to 2015 is decreasing in the older age groups (24-45)and(45-65)
while
Linking Words
 they are increasing in the teenagers between 18-24. In the older years
Use synonyms
ages
Verb problem
apply
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the number of watched films decreased for people between the
ages
Use synonyms
 (of 24 to 45) and (45-65) but the decline was greater in the
ages
Use synonyms
 of 45 to 65 . As it begins with 12
cines
Correct your spelling
lines
 in 200 , 7 in 2010 ends with 5
movies
Use synonyms
 in 2015 .
While
Linking Words
 it started with 15
movies
Use synonyms
 and concludes with 7 in 2015 passing by 12
movies
Use synonyms
 in 2010 for the
ages
Use synonyms
 25 to 45.
In contrast
Linking Words
 , the number of film watches increased in young people
ages
Use synonyms
 (from 18 to 24 ) ,So it started with 10 films in 2000 , 12 between 2005 to 2010
ends
Fix the agreement mistake
and ending
show examples
 with 15
movies
Use synonyms
 in 2015.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words movies, ages with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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