Some educationalists think that international exchange visits benefits teenagers at the school. To what extent do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#educationalists #exchange #visits #teenagers #school

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this

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fast-paced world that we presently reside in, the phenomenon of student

exchange

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in terms of short course study has garnered popularity in recent years. Notwithstanding my unwavering support for

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notion, that it allows the youths to broaden their experience and networking, it is imperative to acknowledge that

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case may

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entail certain drawbacks, encompassing potential

health

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and

safety

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concerns. On the one hand, the existing substantial support for the notion of international

exchange

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visits can jeopardize youngsters’

health

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and

safety

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, since they will dwell in divergent environments. Transitioning

health

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issues

arises

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arise

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due to

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changes in climate, diet, and stress; meanwhile,

safety

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concerns,

such

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as political instability or distinct

safety

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standards in the host country, pose detrimental repercussions. Students

exchange

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in Sudan,

for example

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, have to grapple with the political conflicts that causing civil war.

As a result

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, administrations all around the world exerted their power to repatriate their citizens from Sudan immediately after the war occurred in 2023.

On the other hand

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, I fervently advocate international short courses owing to their potential to yield a myriad of benefits for adolescents. Those who opt for

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study program stand to

further

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not only in terms of personal growth experiences but

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in acquiring gold-plated networking.

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, it affords young adults the opportunity to delve into international communities,

while

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simultaneously allowing them to amass global exposure, shaping their future aspirations.

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, these programs enhance essential aptitude skills as students navigate real-world experiences, boosting their confidence and fostering mutual respect in professional settings. Taking the aforementioned into consideration,

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it is crucial to recognize the potential

health

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and

safety

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risks associated with student

exchange

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programs, the advantages,

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as enriching experiences and access to international networks, often outweigh these demerits.

Furthermore

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, the benefits of international

exchange

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visits make them a worthwhile endeavour for young people. So paramount is that the governments should enact regulations to ensure the

safety

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of students abroad.

Submitted by megyfebryanisyah on Sat Aug 10 2024

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task achievement

Elaborate more on the disadvantages to provide a more balanced view. Currently, the disadvantages are discussed but not in as much depth as the advantages.

task achievement

Improve the clarity and conciseness of your ideas. Some sentences are wordy or contain overly complex vocabulary which may obscure meaning.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Some transitions between ideas can be smoother for better cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Minor grammatical errors need to be addressed for a more polished writing style.

coherence cohesion

Strong introduction and conclusion effectively contextualize and summarize your arguments.

task achievement

Good use of relevant examples that bolster your points well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Some educationalists think that international exchange visits benefits teenagers at the school. To what extent do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people buy local food?

Many universities graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession what factors may have caused this situation and what in your opinion should be care about it?

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities whether they only know a few people in their area. Advantages and disadvantages of living in small communities?

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young children. Moregovernment money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say that nowadays, this is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.