IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Countries should produce the food that their population eats, and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons, examples to your answer.

#countries #food #population #import
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It is believed that producing
food
 in
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
 is better than
import
Wrong verb form
importing
show examples
 them from other areas. At first glance, it is important to understand the differences between importing or producing meals in many aspects
such
 as costs and time.
Firstly
, making
food
 in any
kingdoms
Fix the agreement mistake
kingdom
show examples
 has several steps. Agricultural is the first one. A lot of
money
 and mineral resources are spent on
this
 step.
For instance
, making a tomato
sause
Correct your spelling
sauce
 needs delicious
nutritiens
Correct your spelling
nutrition
 and
perefect
Correct your spelling
perfect
 tomatoes. The next step
reffers
Correct your spelling
refers
 to factories and human resources .
Furthermore
, all of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 steps
shown
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how
enourmous
Correct your spelling
enormous
energies
Fix the agreement mistake
energy
show examples
 and
money
 are spent on producing a bottle of
cetchup
Correct your spelling
ketchup
show examples
 sauce.
However
,if they buy it from another country, it might be cheaper because they do not
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 a lot of
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 making some kinds of
food
. Apart from
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 paragraph, when a country
export
Change the verb form
exports
show examples
 any kind of
products
Fix the agreement mistake
product
show examples
 to other areas, they make huge benefits
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 doing that for
themeselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
such
 as selling products really expensive . But
due to
 the story of exporting and importing, it is obvious governments did not
used
Change the verb form
use
show examples
 to buy their people's
food
 from other ones and one of the reasons was that they were
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full of stress about transportation and how to conserve them fresh during transportation time. In
cotrary
Correct your spelling
contrast
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
, new technology helps to ignore
this
 problem.
Then
 importing
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 gotten easier in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
years
Correct quantifier usage
few years
show examples
.
Therefore
, we can say it
is depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on countries to choose which way is better for them to
having
Change the form of the verb
have
show examples
 their
food
 for their folks
due to
 how much
money
 and time they want to
spent
Change the verb
spend
show examples
 on
this
 subject.
Overall
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
prodeuce
Correct your spelling
produce
produced
food
 for many products
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more economical than importing them.
However
, buying specific snacks or meals
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 better because it is cheaper than producing them in lines.
Submitted by sarvin.rahimi9898 on

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main point or argument. This will improve the clarity and coherence of your essay.
task response
Include more relevant and specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Real-life examples or statistical data can strengthen your essay.
task response
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed. Discuss both viewpoints to some extent before concluding with your own perspective.
grammar
Watch out for grammatical errors and typos. Proofreading your essay can help catch these small mistakes.
content
The essay does a good job of outlining the complexities and considerations of producing food domestically versus importing it.
structure
The introduction sets up the topic well, and the conclusion gives a clear final opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-sufficiency
  • trade dependency
  • food security
  • sustainable agriculture
  • local economies
  • carbon footprint
  • supply chain
  • food miles
  • agricultural sector
  • domestic production
  • import substitution
  • food sovereignty
  • global supply chains
  • trade imbalances
  • food standards
  • economic resilience
  • biodiversity
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
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