As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweibgh the disadvantages for the environment?
An argument has arisen on whether the merits of the increased numbers of
cars
owners Change the noun form
car
outweight
the demerits of it. In Correct your spelling
outweigh
this
essay, I will discuss both of
the advantages and disadvantages of Change preposition
apply
this
condition and conclude with my perspective.
On one
hand, having the ability to travel by your own car can be so beneficial as it helps you gain independence, you will go on rides whenever you want and it Correct article usage
the one
also
means that you will be able to save more money as taking taxies conistantely
could be money and Correct your spelling
constantly
consistently
time consuming
. Add a hyphen
time-consuming
For example
, one day I needed to go to the hospital for an emergency but I could not find a driver which led to a detereoration
in my health, If I had a car I would have taken myself to the nearest healthcare building.
Correct your spelling
deterioration
On the other hand
, if the numbers of cars
are increasing, soon we will be facing multiple significant issues. For instance
, traffic congestion and environmental problems like climate change and pollution. Cars
Fix the agreement mistake
Car
emmisions
are so harmful Correct your spelling
emissions
for
humans and other creatures as Change the preposition
to
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
contains
CO2. Some scientists Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
agreed
on the fact that Wrong verb form
agree
cars
exhausts are the biggest Change the noun form
car
contributer
Correct your spelling
contributor
in
air Change preposition
to
polluion
, and the use of Correct your spelling
pollution
cars
must be limited to save the sourrounding
nature. Correct your spelling
surrounding
Moreover
, in my city
there is Add a comma
city,
a
deforestation happening in order to make bigger roads to accommodate Remove the article
apply
this
huge number of cars
, which is another environmental problem that needs to be tackled.
In conclusion, due to
the harmul
, dangerous, and bad impact of the high numbers of used Correct your spelling
harmful
cars
, I agree with the fact that the number of cars
should be limited for present and future environmental purpuses
.Correct your spelling
purposes
Submitted by 9500kawther1700 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar vocabulary
Ensure your spelling and grammar are accurate and consistent. For example, 'taxies' should be 'taxis,' and 'detereoration' should be 'deterioration.'
content development
Expand on your arguments with more elaborate examples or data to strengthen your points further. This will improve your overall response and clarity.
logical structure
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance overall coherence. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay smoothly.
structuring
Work on structuring your essay more logically. Develop each point more fully before moving on to the next. This will improve the logical structure and make your arguments clearer.
introduction conclusion
You clearly stated the topic and your perspective on it in both the introduction and conclusion.
relevant examples
You provided relevant examples to back up your points, which adds weight to your arguments.
task response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!