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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
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The table illustrates information about where the cash comes from and the pie charts display how it was spent on the police budget in the years 2017 and 2018 in one place Britain.
Overall
Linking Words
, they have provided three
sources
Use synonyms
 of income and three categories
such
Linking Words
 as salaries, technology, building, and transport for spending.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 2017 total of 304.7m cash was provided by three
sources
Use synonyms
. The highest amount of
money
Use synonyms
 given by the national government with 175.5m.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest
money
Use synonyms
 provided by other
sources
Use synonyms
 with 38m. Meanwhile, 91.2M cash received from local taxes, which is the second highest in 2017.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie chart, 75% of
Use synonyms
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 was provided for officers and staff as a salary. Which was the highest percentage in the year 2017.
However
Linking Words
, 8% of the
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on technology, which was the lowest percentage.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in comparison with the previous year, the national government provided an extra amount of
money
Use synonyms
 in 2018.
Additionally
Linking Words
, local taxes and other
sources
Use synonyms
 gave 102.3m and 38.5m respectively. In both years the
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on buildings and transport equally with 17%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sources, m, money with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • funding sources
  • government policies
  • economic conditions
  • community services
  • crime prevention
  • public safety
  • significant increase/decrease
  • distribution
  • assessment
  • reflection
  • allocation shifts
  • budget comparison
  • impact analysis
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