The two pie charts show how different industries used electricity in 1995 and 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The two pie charts show how different industries used electricity in 1995 and 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The illustrated pie chart depicts a comparison between the electricity being used in different listed as Coal, Gas, Petro, Nuclear and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
industries
in 1995 and 2005. Upon closer perspective, in 1995, Coal, Gas, Petro each industry
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for a near equal share of energy consumption, with each sector contributing approximately 29%. The remaining portion of electricity usage was attributed towards the Nuclear and Other
industries
which together made up
remaining
Verb problem
apply
show examples
over 11%. Meanwhile, in 2005, a transitional shift
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
observed with over 9.72% which shifted into the other
industries
, resulting in
1
Correct article usage
a 1
show examples
% increase in coal,
gas
Correct word choice
and gas
show examples
.
However
, a significant boost is observed in nuclear and others with over 9% in total.
Overall
, A significant reduction was observed in petro electricity usage which went toward the remaining
industries
.
Submitted by nick on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words industries with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie charts
  • industries
  • electricity usage
  • 1995
  • 2005
  • comparison
  • increase
  • decrease
  • service sector
  • manufacturing sector
  • residential sector
  • agricultural sector
  • main features
  • summarize
  • reporting
What to do next:
Look at other essays: