IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people think it is very important to protect the environment but they make no effort to do it themselves. Why do you think this is the case? What actions should individuals take to protect the environment?

#people #environment #effort #case #actions #individuals
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 say that it is crucial to save nature but there is no action from them. The primary cause of
this
Linking Words
 problem is that
people
Use synonyms
 do not want to protect the environment and the most viable solution is to educate their young
people
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 about
this
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 issue. To be honest,
people
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 do not want to save nature. Many humans who say that the environment must be protected, truly do not want to do
such
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 things.
For example
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, my classmate Arman in his homework wrote that we must save our planet, but actually few hours ago, he threw a bottle of Coca-Cola and a bag of chips on the street.
This
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 results in, there will a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 who do not care about the world and his safety. A long-term solution to
this
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 predicament is to educate young
children
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 about the dangers of not caring and not protecting the environment.
Children
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 in school could be taught about how to save and protect the world. They are
also
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 likely to teach their parents about the things they learned at school and adults will
also
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 be influenced by
this
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 initiative.
For example
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, school
children
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 in Australia were taught about the consequences of polluted areas, showing a very high level of decrease in throwing garbage. In conclusion, many
people
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 say that they must protect nature but they do not take any action for
this
Linking Words
 because they do not want to do
this
Linking Words
 and their
children
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 must be taught that all of us are obliged it is the only answer.
Submitted by Kawasaki on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer and more defined introduction to the essay's main points. Clarify the problem and solution more distinctly to enhance overall task response.
coherence cohesion
Be consistent in your use of pronouns and grammatical structures to ensure that ideas flow smoothly. This will further enhance coherence and readability.
task achievement
The essay does a good job of illustrating a real-life example, which makes the issue relatable.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the points discussed and reiterates the main argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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