IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #nobody #newspaper #books
According to
 the population of digital reading way,
someone
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
view
Verb problem
believe
show examples
 that there will be without people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
buy printed
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 or
books
 in that they will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
ought to read everything they want on the Internet
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 free. From my perspective, I would argue that the printed
newspaper
 or
books
 will not be abandoned no matter when. The most significant advantage is that we can read printed
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 or
books
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anytime and anywhere
, don’t
Verb problem
and not
show examples
being
Change the form of the verb
be
show examples
 influenced by the signal and network.
For example
, as we all know, when you
situated
Add a missing verb
are situated
show examples
 in a high-speed train or an airplane, it is difficult for us to read anything online normally
due to
 the weak signal. What’s more, society is facing an
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 situation
Change preposition
in that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 more and more elderly lose their original living method, including reading and payment. They couldn’t use the Internet smoothly.
Therefore
, they would continue to buy printed
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 or
books
 to acquire new knowledge or news.
On the other hand
, there are still
someone
Correct your spelling
some who
show examples
 like to buy printed
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 or
books
 and use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 because it is beneficial to draw and mark something on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, which is suitable for someone who
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
 to mark and write down notes. Personally, I prefer to buy printed
books
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 value. As the saying goes, good memory
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 bad written. I always make some notes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my
books
, which could be helpful for me to remember them deeply. Meanwhile, I usually enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
satisfaction when I
reading
Wrong verb form
read
show examples
 through a thick printed book. Having looked at both sides,
although
 reading online without paying is attractive and printed
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 or
books
 are fee-paying, knowledge is priceless. No matter past or future, printed
newspaper
 or book always have their consumers.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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grammar and accuracy
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that affect the clarity. For example, 'According to the population of digital reading way' and 'don’t being influenced by the signal and network' are awkward and unclear. Improved accuracy is needed for higher scores.
coherence
The essay can benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main point. This will improve coherence and make the essay easier to follow.
tone and formality
Try to use a more formal and conventional tone. For example, 'someone view that there will be without people to buy' can be rephrased to 'some people believe that nobody will buy'.
balance of arguments
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is good for task achievement.
conclusion summarization
The conclusion summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, which helps to round off the argument logically.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Digital content
  • Environmental concerns
  • Tactile experience
  • Production costs
  • Distribution costs
  • Digital divide
  • Digital fatigue
  • Print media
  • Credibility
  • Permanence
  • Collectibility
  • Aesthetic value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: