Some people believe that the personal happiness is directly related with the economic success.

Some people believe that personal
happiness
Use synonyms
is closely tied to economic success,
while
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others argue that it depends on very different factors.
This
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essay discusses both views and presents my opinion. Supporters of the wealth-based view claim that money buys security and choice. With a stable income, people can afford safe housing, reliable healthcare, and time-saving services, which lower daily stress and protect families during emergencies. Financial resources
also
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create freedom to pursue goals,
such
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as learning new skills, travelling, or starting a business when an opportunity arises. From
this
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perspective, economic success removes obstacles that often make life difficult and
therefore
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contributes strongly to
happiness
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.
However
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, many people insist that
happiness
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rests mainly on nonfinancial foundations. Close relationships provide belonging and emotional support that no purchase can replace. Good health, meaningful work, and time for leisure or creativity
also
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play decisive roles.
Moreover
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, once basic needs are met, extra income produces diminishing returns; if the pursuit of higher earnings reduces sleep, strains family ties, or undermines integrity,
overall
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well-being may fall rather than rise. Volunteering and community service frequently deliver a sense of purpose even without financial reward. In my view, income matters up to a point, chiefly because it removes hardship and uncertainty. Yet lasting
happiness
Use synonyms
typically grows from relationships, purpose, and health, not from constant accumulation. Wise societies should pursue balanced policies that raise living standards
while
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also
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strengthening families, public health, and civic life. Individuals should invest in stability and the connections that make prosperity meaningful.

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strength
The essay states both sides well and makes a clear view, which is good.
improvement
Make the intro plan clearer and restate your view in the conclusion.
tip
Use more linking words to show how ideas go from one point to the next.
strength
Clear balance of view and reasons.
strength
Good use of examples like housing, health, travel.
strength
Easy to follow structure and paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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