Write about the following topic: Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words.
Peer
pressure
is a pervasive phenomenon that significantly influences the behaviours
of young individuals. While
some argue that it plays a crucial role in positively shaping the lives of the youth, others contend that the disadvantages of peer
pressure
are very detrimental.
Peer
pressure
, when harnessed positively, can have several advantages. Firstly
, it can foster a sense of belonging and camaraderie among individuals within the same age group. Young people
often seek acceptance and affirmation from their peers, and this
can contribute to their emotional well-being and self-esteem. A further
benefit is that positive peer
pressure
can encourage healthy behaviours
, such
as exercising or avoiding risky activities. For instance
, a teenager might be motivated to quit smoking if their friends promote a smoke-free lifestyle.
However
, peer
pressure
can also
have distinct disadvantages. The most pressing concern is the potential for negative influences on impressionable minds. Young people
may succumb to the pressure
of engaging in harmful behaviours
, such
as substance abuse, criminal activities, or reckless behaviours
like driving without a seatbelt, due to
peer
pressure
, which can lead to long-lasting negative consequences and jeopardise their future.
Moreover
, excessive pressure
from peers can stifle individuality and creativity as young people
may conform to the norms of their peer
group instead
of pursuing their own aspirations and dreams. This
conformity may limit their personal growth and hinder their ability to think independently.
In conclusion, I would argue that peer
pressure
has more disadvantages as although
it can foster a sense of belonging and promote healthy behaviours
, it also
carries the risk of leading young people
astray and stifling their individuality. It is imperative for parents, educators, and society at large to guide young people
in making informed choices and navigating the complexities of peer
influence.Submitted by nlchiranth11 on
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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from more specific examples to support your assertions. Consider including additional real-world examples or personal anecdotes.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is good but can be further enhanced by using more transitional phrases to ensure seamless flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong, clearly presenting the topic and summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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