Write about the following topic: Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words.

Peer
pressure
is a pervasive phenomenon that significantly influences the
behaviours
of young individuals.
While
some argue that it plays a crucial role in positively shaping the lives of the youth, others contend that the disadvantages of
peer
pressure
are very detrimental.
Peer
pressure
, when harnessed positively, can have several advantages.
Firstly
, it can foster a sense of belonging and camaraderie among individuals within the same age group. Young
people
often seek acceptance and affirmation from their peers, and
this
can contribute to their emotional well-being and self-esteem. A
further
benefit is that positive
peer
pressure
can encourage healthy
behaviours
,
such
as exercising or avoiding risky activities.
For instance
, a teenager might be motivated to quit smoking if their friends promote a smoke-free lifestyle.
However
,
peer
pressure
can
also
have distinct disadvantages. The most pressing concern is the potential for negative influences on impressionable minds. Young
people
may succumb to the
pressure
of engaging in harmful
behaviours
,
such
as substance abuse, criminal activities, or reckless
behaviours
like driving without a seatbelt,
due to
peer
pressure
, which can lead to long-lasting negative consequences and jeopardise their future.
Moreover
, excessive
pressure
from peers can stifle individuality and creativity as young
people
may conform to the norms of their
peer
group
instead
of pursuing their own aspirations and dreams.
This
conformity may limit their personal growth and hinder their ability to think independently. In conclusion, I would argue that
peer
pressure
has more disadvantages as
although
it can foster a sense of belonging and promote healthy
behaviours
, it
also
carries the risk of leading young
people
astray and stifling their individuality. It is imperative for parents, educators, and society at large to guide young
people
in making informed choices and navigating the complexities of
peer
influence.
Submitted by nlchiranth11 on

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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from more specific examples to support your assertions. Consider including additional real-world examples or personal anecdotes.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is good but can be further enhanced by using more transitional phrases to ensure seamless flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong, clearly presenting the topic and summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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