Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime

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Great role models today were bad boys yesterday. Your life years ago might lead

people

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to judge you . Many previous

criminals

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become better citizens when coming out of prison. Some

people

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support that they are the suitable

people

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to talk with

teenagers

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about the risk of being

criminals

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while

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others say that they shouldn't be the

people

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guiding our kids towards the right path.

This

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essay will discuss both views

as well as

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explain why

teenagers

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should hear specific words from these

people

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. A group in the society agree that

teenagers

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should go through a talk with a person who was in prison previously because

this

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will save the child from falling into the same traps the man went in before. Because that citizen ,for sure ,has a horrible background , tips from him may save your

teenager

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from highly risky experiences.

For example

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, the

teenager

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may be warned

from

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show examples

bad effective friends. Maybe his friends led him to walk in that criminal way, and

that is

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one of the tips he might provide.

Hence

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, some

people

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give the green light to these talks between the citizen and the

teenager

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because of the valuable information and warnings

Correct pronoun usage

they

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may give.

However

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, another side of the community would refuse

this

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kind of teaching because it may adversely affect the

teenager

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This

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could open his eyes to new criminal ideas he did not think of before.

For instance

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, the

teenager

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knew recently about addictive materials he did not realize before which will push him to search about and maybe try.

Moreover

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, the

teenager

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may be afraid of facing his community members after recognizing that

criminals

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may be anywhere on the road. Since these

criminals

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got out, any criminal may be free and continue their bad behaviour. Because of that, some parents refuse the discuss

about

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apply

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these topics with their children. In my view, I slightly agree because these guys may grab the

teenager

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's attention to be focused on their future and academic life. The criminal might mention the lack of career opportunities after being out of prison which will convince the listener to focus on his education and ensure a good future for himself.

To sum up

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, different points of view are there if rather a past prisoner spread awareness among

teenagers

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about the dangers of committing a crime.

Although

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some agree that it may help to avoid long-term mistakes, others argue that it may teach the child things he didn't realize yet. In my opinion, I support that past prisoners need to have a talk with

teenagers

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and discuss their faults and wrong steps taken.

Submitted by ghala_alshatti_16 on Sat Aug 10 2024

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task achievement

While the essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, it can benefit from stronger examples to support the main points. Adding more specific real-life examples or statistics can enhance the argumentation.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and connects smoothly with the subsequent paragraph. Using transitional phrases can improve the flow of the essay.

task achievement

The essay presents a well-structured introduction, discussion of both points of view, and a clear conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The essay logically transitions from one argument to the next, maintaining a coherent flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

436 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prisoners
rehabilitation
recidivism
consequences
insights
deterrent
guidance
support
role models
positive change

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that increasing price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?