The chart below give the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The bar graph depicts the numbers of workers in five different areas of jobs in a particular locale in Australia during two different years,2001 and 2008.

Overall

Linking Words

, sales had the maximum number of folks in

both

Use synonyms

periods,

whereas

Linking Words

farming was the least popular job there. It is conspicuous from the bar diagram that the sales job grabbed the maximum number of people in

both

Use synonyms

timeframes, approximately 160000 in 2001 and slightly increased after seven years. Accounting had a decline when compared to 2001 when the figures dipped from more than 60000 to less than that of afterwards. Nursing and computing showed similar amounts at around 50000 during the first data.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

both

Use synonyms

had a surge for the second time, where nursing jobs touched over 60000,

while

Linking Words

IT jobs climbed up almost 60000. Farming was the least preferred job as it remained lowest in

both

Use synonyms

years , scoring approximately 20000 in 2001 and 2008 .

Submitted by krishnabalu1984 on Sun Aug 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words both with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

153 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Sending people to prison is not effective, and other methods such as community work should be supported instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
In the modern era, sending criminals to prison is not beneficial. Others think other strategies such as public work should be encouraged instead of sending individuals to prison. I completely disagree with this idea and in this essay, I will support my opinion with reasons and examples.
7
band
Child labour is considered to be one of the most serious problems ob the planet. What are the reasons why children find themselves in child labour and can be done to tackle this issue ?
Although some relevant regulations have been introduced by numerous governments, child labour still exists in some nations for a wider range of offspring. This issue stems from legal potholes in the children’s law system and financial pressure, which could be mitigated pedantically by applying the following remedies.
5
band
The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
The state should emphasize more on allocating resources to public welfare instead of entertainment and culture. While entertainment is important for happiness but However, I strongly believe the public sector should be prioritized.
<4
band
Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
To be more convenient and simpler living. Nowadays, technology is become a part of human lives. Many people use technology to comfort their living style and to make lives easier, but some people argue that technology is destroying important life skills.
5.5
band
Fast food is becoming one part of people’s daily life everywhere, and this has had negative effects on our lifestyle and diet. Do you agree with this statement?
In this contemporary era, every sphere of our life is changing dramatically, and food is no exception. It is undeniably true that, international fast-food culture has become inseparable from everyone’s life and has had a detrimental effect to our food habits and way of life.

The chart below give the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008.

Sending people to prison is not effective, and other methods such as community work should be supported instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Child labour is considered to be one of the most serious problems ob the planet. What are the reasons why children find themselves in child labour and can be done to tackle this issue ?

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public service instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fast food is becoming one part of people’s daily life everywhere, and this has had negative effects on our lifestyle and diet. Do you agree with this statement?