The chart below give the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008.

The bar graph depicts the numbers of workers in five different areas of jobs in a particular locale in Australia during two different years,2001 and 2008.

Overall

, sales had the maximum number of folks in

both

periods,

whereas

farming was the least popular job there. It is conspicuous from the bar diagram that the sales job grabbed the maximum number of people in

both

timeframes, approximately 160000 in 2001 and slightly increased after seven years. Accounting had a decline when compared to 2001 when the figures dipped from more than 60000 to less than that of afterwards. Nursing and computing showed similar amounts at around 50000 during the first data.

Nevertheless

both

had a surge for the second time, where nursing jobs touched over 60000,

while

IT jobs climbed up almost 60000. Farming was the least preferred job as it remained lowest in

both

years , scoring approximately 20000 in 2001 and 2008 .

Submitted by krishnabalu1984 on Sun Aug 11 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words both with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

153 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below give the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008.

Waste disposal presents increasing problems, especially in urban areas. What do you think are the causes? Give some suggestion to the government and individuals on how to reduce the amount of rubbish.

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Renewable energy accounting the total energy from 1971 to 2007

Some employers believe that job applicants’ social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small local business are unable to compete. some thought that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree??