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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some countries allow the young above 18 years to drive,drink or married. Some countries don't. Give reasons along with personal experience and what do you think is the ideal age for taking adult responsibilities.

#countries #years #drive #drink #age #adult #responsibilities
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My name is Maria Lucia Agudelo Motta, and I am from Colombia. My family is composed of my mother who works as a lawyer in Colombia, my sister who works at The Nitro Consult company in Sweden, and my father and brother who have a building company in New York. I studied for my Bachelor’s Degree (BS) in Medical Science (Medical Doctor, MD) at Universidad Militar Nueva Granada in Bogotá, Colombia, having wide experience in both clinical and research fields. Currently, I study English at ILSC in Brisbane where I have improved my second language reaching an
overall
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 score of 7.5
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 my IELTS test. Regarding my research career, I have been part of the ‘BioGenEtica' and 'Microbiology & Parasitology' research groups, focusing on Stem Cells, Genetics & Genomics, and Bioethics.
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, my clinical experience has been mainly related to critical care support, emergency room, and inpatient health care.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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task achievement
Your essay currently does not address the task. Ensure to discuss the various stances of different countries on allowing young people to drive, drink, or marry. Also, remember to include your personal experiences and your opinion on the ideal age for taking adult responsibilities.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clear and structured introduction and conclusion. These are essential parts of the essay that guide the reader and summarize your main points.
task achievement
Include specific examples and reasons to support your main ideas. This will help to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic and strengthen your arguments.
content
Your professional background and achievements are impressive and well-articulated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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