Some people think that competition at work, at school in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

#people #competition #work #school #life

In today's society,with the evolving social landscape,some argue that

competition

plays a key role in

people

's lives,

while

others contend that

cooperation

can lead to more benefits.

Therefore

this

essay will explore both viewpoints and I believe that

competition

contributes to significant advantages

than

Change preposition

over

show examples

cooperation

. On the one hand, advocates of collaboration assert that it can accelerate the progress and innovation of

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

and society.

For example

, it makes

easier

Correct pronoun usage

it easier

show examples

for

people

to achieve goals and missions through collective efforts, as

people

can exchange their knowledge and experience.

Moreover

cooperation

also

creates harmonious environments and improves a sense of

indentity

Correct your spelling

identity

, both of which not only lead to the advancement of individuals' performances but

also

bring about positive impacts on schools, workplaces and societies.

Furthermore

, when

people

cooperate

each

Change preposition

with each

show examples

other, it contributes to the development of teamwork and the enhancement of social skills. These are essential components for individuals.

On the other hand

, proponents of

competition

believe that It is an effective approach to fueling

sucess

Correct your spelling

success

in many aspects. From a personal viewpoint,

competition

makes

people

strive to improve themselves, and they desire to distinguish themselves from others, as they are keen to acquire

recognisation

Correct your spelling

recognition

from their teachers or bosses.

This

, in turn, leads to a sense of purpose and achievement, thereby contributing to positive effects for

people

and companies. For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that

cooperation

leads to certain advantages,

while

competition

can contribute to more benefits, which indicates that

competition

is a dispensable and pivotal element in

people

's lives.

Submitted by zora840810 on Sun Aug 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

While your essay presents clear arguments and covers both viewpoints, make sure your introduction and conclusion are more balanced in presenting both sides before stating your opinion.

Task Achievement

Proofread your work to fix minor grammatical errors and typos such as 'recognisation' which should be 'recognition,' 'dispensable' which seems to be a misused word for 'indispensable,' and ensuring spaces after commas and throughout the text.

Task Achievement

You've provided a comprehensive response to the task and effectively presented distinct viewpoints.

Coherence & Cohesion

You've used clear and logical structuring for your paragraphs, making your essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Task 2: Medical research is essential to improve health and deal with diseases. Who do you think should fund these researches: private companies, individuals or the government?
Studies and research in the medical field are crucial to provide us with answers for many issues that are related to health. I believe that this research should be supported by the Government, but not private companies and individuals, to avoid bias as many care about themselves , not about the nation. Also, when it is funded by the government the research might be applied on a wider range.
7.5
band
Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer games, however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that despite the large amount of time young people spend absorbing television and engaging in digital games, they do not provide any benefit in terms of enhancing cognitive skills. This writer agrees with the views about the negative effects on youth health and violent content, opinions that will be elaborated further in the following paragraphs.
<4
band
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention toit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people think we have a long time to pay attention to buying advertising goods. Other people say that we spend a less time to advertising.
<4
band
Some people think distance learning programmes can never be as good as traditional, face-to-face education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In my opinion, i think the programs face to face education are the best way to learn any topics or subject. For the distance learning programs is a special resource now because of flexibility in term of time management, cost and accommodation, modern tecnology has created this kind of posibilities around the world, eventhought this program are more personalized learning experience because students can learn at their own pace, revisit materials as needed.
4.5
band
Some people believe is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, almost every information can be shared through gadgets. In this regard, some people argue that it is useful to share research, such as business, scientific, and academic spheres. Others guess that the data that sends so freely can be vital and crucial for humanity. I tend to disagree due to drawbacks that outweigh the benefits of sending information too openly.

Some people think that competition at work, at school in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Fully explain your ideas

Task 2: Medical research is essential to improve health and deal with diseases. Who do you think should fund these researches: private companies, individuals or the government?

Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer games, however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention toit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think distance learning programmes can never be as good as traditional, face-to-face education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion.