Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #poverty #nature

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The issue of

crime

resonates deeply with many

individuals

While

some attribute criminal behavior to inherent flaws in

individuals

, others including myself believe that it primarily stems from poverty and social challenges. Financial hardship is a key factor driving

crime

rates. When

individuals

find themselves in difficult economic situations, they may resort to illegal activities to support their families.

For example

, a person without stable employment might steal to provide food or shelter.

Furthermore

, a lack of job opportunities can intensify

this

issue. In regions where jobs are scarce, desperate

individuals

may feel they have no choice but to engage in criminal activities to survive.

This

absence of legitimate pathways often traps them in a cycle of poverty and

crime

In addition

to economic challenges, l

believes

Correct subject-verb agreement

believe

show examples

that insufficient access to education plays a significant role in perpetuating

crime

within disadvantaged communities. Many

individuals

face marginalization

due to

their circumstances, which limits their educational prospects. Without access to quality education and resources, their potential for a better future is hindered, often leading them to replicate the patterns set by previous generations.

This

educational gap can

also

foster feelings of isolation, leaving

individuals

disconnected and despondent.

Such

disconnection not only stifles personal growth but

also

erodes community cohesion, making it harder to tackle shared challenges.

While

some argue that criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

arises from an inherently bad character, I completely reject it.

Although

a person's environment and upbringing influence their choices, they are not the sole determining factors.

For instance

, a young boy from a low-income area may strive to overcome his circumstances,

while

someone from a wealthy background might still choose to engage in criminal activities.

This

demonstrates that personal agency and determination are crucial in shaping an individual’s journey. In conclusion,

crime

is a multifaceted issue that requires a nuanced approach. By improving access to education and creating job opportunities, we can disrupt the cycle of

crime

and poverty, fostering a healthier and more equitable society for all.

Submitted by homa.nazrmian56 on Tue Sep 10 2024

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Task Response

Ensure that the points are balanced and both views are given equal attention. While the essay mainly focuses on poverty and social challenges, offering more detailed examples and analysis of the 'bad nature' view could strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Although the essay is well-structured, consider using a few more transitional phrases to enhance flow and clarity between paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

In the introduction, providing a clearer thesis statement that summarizes both perspectives succinctly can make the essay’s structure even stronger.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay features a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow the arguments presented.

Coherence and Cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively mirror each other, giving the essay a complete and well-rounded feel.

Task Achievement

Main points are well-supported with specific examples, making the arguments convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

328 words

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Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do advantages of this trend outweigh disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why might this be the case? do you think this is positive or negative development?

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation?