IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

General Training You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: •Say what you have learned in your present job, •Suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department, •Explain why you do not wish to leave the company. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear …………….. , You get 20 minutes to complete this task.

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Dear Mr. Smith I am writing you to express my interest in transferring to a different department within our company for my career development. Over the past two years in my current role, I have gained invaluable experiences and skills. I have learned to manage projects efficiently, work collaboratively with diverse teams, and develop innovative solutions to complex problems. These experiences have not only enhanced my technical abilities but
also
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 improved my leadership and communication skills. I believe that a move to the Projects Management Office (PMO) would be mutually beneficial. My background in the Engineering Department has provided me with a unique perspective that I bring to the new team.
Additionally
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, my ability to adapt quickly and my eagerness to take on new challenges will contribute positively to the PMO goals and objectives. I deeply value the supportive culture and opportunities for growth within our organization which is why I am keen to continue my career here rather than seeking external opportunities. I am confident
this
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 move will enable me to make an even greater impact
while
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 aligning with my long-term career goals. Thank you for considering my request and I would be happy to discuss
this
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further
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 at your convenience. Yours sincerely Abraham Streeter

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph uniquely addresses a different point to maintain clarity and focus on the task requirements.
task achievement
Keep a clear and concise closing statement to bolster the request effectively.
coherence cohesion
Clear and polite opening and closing structure.
task achievement
All task requirements are thoroughly and thoughtfully addressed, demonstrating a strong understanding of the prompt.
task achievement
Appropriate formal tone throughout, effectively supporting the purpose of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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