Some countries achieve international sporting success by building specialised facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#countries #success #facilities #train #athletes #sports #development

It is argued that

athletes

who achieve top international success are trained by professional

facilities

only in some countries. I agree with the idea to some extent, but I believe that common people can

also

be successful through publicly accessible

sports

facilities

that everyone can use. There are several compelling reasons why specialised

facilities

can produce elite sportsmen.

Firstly

, professional coaches in these institutes can train

athletes

excellently through rigorous arrangements, a sport-specific diet, and valuable experience-sharing.

For example

, China’s national

sports

team, which has been developed rapidly, constructing a comprehensive network of specialized training centres, has already won numerous medals at the international Olympic Games.

Secondly

, the national team athlete’s job is full-time, allowing them to focus entirely on training without financial concerns.

Finally

, the highly selective recruitment process would only admit the most talented students to the State-of-the-art

facilities

around the country, spending all money on the people who have the most possibility to become world champions.

On the other hand

, I believe that national sporting success can

also

be achieved by public

sports

centres. Talented competitors can rise to elite

athletes

through the self-motivated training process, who are just inspired by personal hobbies.

Furthermore

, in the information era, numerous resources of

sports

are posted on the Internet, which is accessible to everyone for learning.

Additionally

, the widespread availability of community

sports

facilities

lowers the entry barriers, encouraging broader participation.

This

inclusivity fosters a deep-rooted Olympic spirit across society, motivating future generations of

athletes

. In conclusion,

although

specialized

facilities

can enhance an athlete’s performance, widespread access to

sports

facilities

also

plays a crucial role in fostering talent.

Submitted by a1552094108 on Sun Aug 11 2024

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task achievement

You have provided a well-rounded argument discussing both the advantages of specialized facilities and the role of public facilities, which enhances your essay's balance. However, to achieve a higher score, consider incorporating a more detailed and nuanced discussion of each point you present. Additionally, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain the flow of ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are logically structured and easy to follow, which is a strength. However, you could improve further by using more varied transition phrases and linking words to ensure fluidity between sentences and paragraphs.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize your main points.

supported main points

You provided relevant examples, such as the example of China's national sports teams and their specialized training facilities, which strengthened your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

international success
specialized facilities
top athletes
sports facilities
positive development
negative development
excellence in sports
lack of access
general public
international sports events
unequal distribution
resources
inspire
motivate
aspiring athletes
neglecting
areas of development
contribute to
economy
excessive focus

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Some countries achieve international sporting success by building specialised facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

The digital age has made the gap between the younger and older generations wider. Give reasons for your own answer.

Some people say that we do not need printed newspaper any more. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

How the digital tools helped, share your experience and learning from it ?

In many developing countries, there is a problem of declining quality of air and water. What are the causes for this and what measures could be taken to prevent this?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+