Some countries achieve international sporting success by building specialised facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#countries #success #facilities #train #athletes #sports #development

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It is argued that sportsmen who win the top international prize are trained by professional

facilities

only in some countries. I agree with the idea to some extent, but I believe that common people can

also

be successful through normal

facilities

that everyone can use. There are several reasons why specialised

facilities

can train sportsmen successfully.

Firstly

, professional coaches can train athletes well through reasonable arrangements, a sport-oriented diet, and imparting experience.

For example

, China’s national

sports

team, which has been established in a very short time, have already won so many prizes in the international Olympic Games.

Secondly

, the national team’s athlete is a full-time job, who can spend all their time on training, and they do not need to be

concern

Wrong verb form

concerned

show examples

about finances.

Finally

, the selection process of the national

sports

team can admit the most talented students or children to the specialised

facilities

around the country.

On the other hand

, I believe that national sporting success can

also

achieved by the common facility. The talented sportsman can reach world rank

though

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

self-motivated training, who is just inspired by personal hobbies.

Furthermore

, in the information era, many knowledge and resources of

sports

are posted on the Internet, on which everyone can study.

Additionally

, the lower barriers of

sports

can attract more

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

to join and shape the psychological impact of the Olympic spirit on society. In conclusion, my view is that national sporting success can be achieved by both specialized

facilities

and

facilities

which everyone can use in modern society.

Submitted by a1552094108 on Sun Aug 11 2024

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task achievement

Your response is relevant and addresses the question, but make sure to further expand upon your arguments. For instance, you could provide more specific real-world examples to strengthen your position.

coherence cohesion

While your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, the coherence between the paragraphs can be improved by using more transition words and phrases to create smoother connections.

task achievement

Some ideas could be more comprehensively explained. Adding more depth to your examples and explaining the implications more clearly would help readers better understand your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your arguments effectively.

task achievement

You've successfully addressed both perspectives in your essay, providing a balanced view on the topic.

coherence cohesion

You use a range of vocabulary accurately, and your essay is generally easy to read and understand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

international success
specialized facilities
top athletes
sports facilities
positive development
negative development
excellence in sports
lack of access
general public
international sports events
unequal distribution
resources
inspire
motivate
aspiring athletes
neglecting
areas of development
contribute to
economy
excessive focus

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Some countries achieve international sporting success by building specialised facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country , while others believe the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

: Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shipping. Is this a positive or a negative ?

University students always focus on one special subject but some people think university should encourage their students to study a range of subjects. To what extend do you agree or disagree?