Althouh many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residental areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Some
people
Use synonyms
find public
parks
Use synonyms
very useful. Others consider that because of the increasing population or developing
business
Add a comma
business,
show examples
these
areas
Use synonyms
can be used for different purposes
such
Linking Words
as residential
areas
Use synonyms
. From my point of view,
this
Linking Words
opinion is not good, I don't agree with
this
Linking Words
. That essay will discuss arguments for both opinions. On the one hand, public
parks
Use synonyms
make
people
Use synonyms
's daily lives more active and lively. They are space
areas
Use synonyms
for both children's enjoyment and parent's recreation. It is very difficult for parents to keep their children at home without physical activity. That's why, they take their children to
parks
Use synonyms
for both breathing fresh air and playing various games.
Additionally
Linking Words
, most
parks
Use synonyms
have free exercise equipment which
people
Use synonyms
can build strong bodies by using them.
For example
Linking Words
,
Anew Tv
Correct your spelling
New TV
show examples
reports that the expansion of public
parks
Use synonyms
increased the level of
people
Use synonyms
satisfaction by 13 percent compared to the previous indicator.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, at a time when the population is growing, the space of public
areas
Use synonyms
can be better used for different purposes. To achieve economic development and business boost these parking spaces can be replaced with residential
areas
Use synonyms
, especially in large megacities. Rather than allocating wide
areas
Use synonyms
for
parks
Use synonyms
, building skyscrapers is more beneficial for providing housing for the homeless.
For instance
Linking Words
, the "Green Life" residential area built on the site of the Grand Park has provided housing for
10 000
Correct your spelling
10,000
people
Use synonyms
. İn conclusion, from my point of view, having a public park for
people
Use synonyms
to relax is more important than building residential
areas
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as high-ranking skyscrapers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The introduction could be clearer in stating your position more explicitly. You mention that you don't agree but could better outline your reasoning.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main points. There are some ideas that could be better elaborated upon, especially regarding the benefits of parks.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use varied sentence structures and pay attention to grammar and punctuation, as there were a few minor errors throughout.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the report on public parks and the housing provided by 'Green Life'.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: