some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, most
people
Use synonyms
are faced with the dilemma of whether they should compete more or cooperate more in their daily lives. I believe that a combination of both is an ideal strategy for them to improve their personal ability. On the one hand, increasing the number of competitions is beneficial to the development of society in terms of individual and collective. With regard to the former, the
competition
Use synonyms
between staff and students encourages them to finish the
work
Use synonyms
in a faster and better way, which enables them to arrange their time in a reasonable way and think about coming up with more creative ideas.
Therefore
Linking Words
, competitions help to improve
people
Use synonyms
's abilities.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
competition
Use synonyms
is good for the companies themselves.
That is
Linking Words
to say,
competition
Use synonyms
can promote enterprises to enhance vitality, develop innovation ability, and ultimately boost the economy. All of those contribute to improvements in the society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
cooperation
Use synonyms
can gain productivity improvements efficiently.
That is
Linking Words
to say,
cooperation
Use synonyms
can effectively allocate everyone's
work
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that each
people
Use synonyms
in the team can do the part that they are good at. What's more,
cooperation
Use synonyms
can
also
Linking Words
enhance the communication skills of each team member. To be specific,
people
Use synonyms
need to express their opinions clearly to team members, and
therefore
Linking Words
, they can have better communication skills. In my opinion, competing with each other makes participants more willing to
work
Use synonyms
better
while
Linking Words
cooperation
Use synonyms
can improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
efficiency. In short, I believe both
competition
Use synonyms
and
cooperate
Replace the word
cooperation
show examples
are
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
to humanity at their
work
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by 2575444164 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay addresses both views and provides your own opinion, try to elaborate more on specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Specific examples can make your points more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure seamless transitions between paragraphs to make the flow of your essay smoother. This will enhance the logical structure and make it easier for readers to follow your arguments.
task achievement
The essay presents a comprehensive discussion of both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task response criteria effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, giving the essay a strong start and a satisfactory closure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: